


The Redemption of Black Jack Randall

by MaddogOUATandReignForever



Category: Outlander (TV)
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Rape Recovery, Redemption, Scars
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 15:34:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29137908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddogOUATandReignForever/pseuds/MaddogOUATandReignForever
Summary: While still recovering at Fort William months after the events of Wentworth Prison, Black Jack Randall's obsession with Jamie vanishes. And when the mysterious Lady Anne Howard washes up on the shores near the Fort after a shipwreck, Randall faces the challenge of helping her recover while she searches for an English lord to marry, while trying to deny the spark between them.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser, Jonathan "Black Jack" Randall/Other(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 17





	1. The Shipwreck

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place after the events at Wentworth Prison from Outlander season 1.

At this point, Jonathan Randall thought he had seen everything. He’d been through war, served under countless military officers and lords, and was currently stationed at Fort William after his incident at Wentworth Prison. He’d fought clansmen, had a few encounters with Jamie Fraser and his wife Claire, and been run over by a herd of cattle. At the last memory he touched his side where there had previously been three broken ribs. Somehow, though, he hadn’t been stabbed by Jamie’s men or killed with the force of over two dozen cattle running him over with only a wood door between them. Still, after all that, he didn’t feel whole. Yes, he had broken Jamie into a million tiny pieces inside that prison, but even when he escaped, Jonathan decided it was best to let him go. The garrison was assembled right after they found him, but he called it off. He’d gotten what he wanted, and now he felt empty, like there should’ve been more satisfaction. But there wasn’t. In fact, Jack realized after a few weeks of complete bed rest that he was no longer very attracted to men. Seeing the strength in Claire, and how she treated her husband and risked everything to save him, made Jack Randall realize that he wanted someone like her. A woman with intelligence and intrigue.

But until he left this godforsaken country to go back home or to see his brother in France, he didn’t dare hope to find such a companion. His reputation would probably have him search at the very corners of the world where no one knew of his name or the things he had done. 

“Sir!” The Private burst into the room, already out of breath. Jack simply looked over at him, twirling a knife in his hand. 

“What is it, Private?”

“There’s been a shipwreck sir, just a few miles away. The storm that came in last night must have caused it and some of the men are going down to the coast to look for survivors.” Jack nodded once and stood.

“Bring out my horse. I will take out a search party a few miles north to see if there are any survivors. Send out groups of men. There are still unruly Scots in these parts, and I don’t need any soldier deaths this month.” The Private nodded and backed out of the room. 

The garrison rode quickly a few miles up the coast along the clifftops. The cliffs themselves were only about fifty feet up, giving the small garrison a perfect view of the shoreline that was only a few hundred yards wide before the ocean. 

“But how will we get down to someone if we find survivors?” One soldier asked. 

“I’m not confident that many of the passengers survived or washed up this far north, but we’ll figure out a way if there are any.” 

The garrison continued to ride until suddenly, one of the soldiers cried out “STOP!” Following his pointed finger, it was then easy to make out a dark shape on the sand that was defiantly not a rock. Her dark skirts had been almost completely torn off and she appeared to be on her hands and knees, presumably coughing up seawater as she tried to catch her breath. Finally, she stood and ripped off the tatters that remained, leaving her in a white underskirt and a dark green bodice. The garrison didn’t move or make a sound, since it had been a while since they had seen a woman, and watched as she jogged down the beach a few yards to a chest that was tipped over. After opening it and making a makeshift bag, she put the contents of the chest inside and slung the bag over her shoulder. It was then that the shouting started. Jack Randall dismounted his horse and watched the woman look down the coastline and see a group of Scotsmen approaching her, hollering. 

“Well, isn’t this a fine one!”

“I want a turn with her first!”

“I saw her first, so she’s mine!” 

As she turned to run, another group came down the other side of the beach, blocking her exit. 

“Sir, we have to help her! We could-” But even as he said the words, the soldier must’ve realized that their presence wouldn’t help her and the guns were not in range. Looking down at the drop-off, there wasn’t a way to get down to the beach. She was on her own. After fighting in a few battles, Jonathan knew that she only really had two options. One, she could turn herself over to them and hope they didn’t rape and then kill her after. Or two, she could run back to the ocean and try to swim somewhere else, even though she would eventually get too tired and weighted down with all her clothing and drown. Either option seemed just as hopeless. 

The woman looked at the cliffs, not seeing the garrison through the trees at the top, and then to the ocean, seeming to make a decision. But, to Jack Randall’s surprise, the woman made a third option and started running as fast as she could towards the cliffs. 

“What is she doing?” A few of the soldiers murmured. The woman ran, at a good pace, all the way to the bottom of the cliff. And when Jonathan peered over, he saw what her plan was. She had started to climb. 

On certain days, some of the garrison liked to head out and try to climb the cliffs themselves. The highest anyone had gotten was twenty feet. But this woman scaled the first twenty feet in a minute or two with almost no effort. The Scotsmen got to the cliffs then and started to climb as well, but Randall held the officers from firing, not trusting any of them to not accidentally shoot the woman. When she got to the harder part of the cliffs, she kicked off both of her shoes, which helped aid in climbing the remainder of the fifty-foot cliff. The Scotsmen only got to about thirty feet before they started to slip and decided to descend. She still hadn’t noticed people watching her on the top, too busy focusing on the placement of her feet and hands on the rough stones as she went higher and higher. Randall silenced his men, so as not to distract her, and forced them back a few feet when her hands came up and grabbed a root of a nearby tree to pull her the rest of the way up, before rolling up onto the ground and closing her eyes, seemingly thankful to be in a safer spot. At least, until there were a few guns pointing at her. Her eyes few open as she rolled to her side and stood up, ready for another escape. 

“Lower your weapons. She just escaped from a dozen Scotsmen. I doubt she would have any trouble getting away from you lot.” Black Jack Randall called out. She didn’t relax even a tiny bit as the guns were lowered and the men backed away. “Who are you?” She looked at him before her shoulders relaxed slightly. 

“Anne Howard. Our ship wrecked last night in the storm. Things were flying around the deck and something hit me in the head. I woke up on the beach.” She said, voice never wavering. 

“Where are you from and where was your intended destination.”

“I am originally from England. My father took me to Ireland after my mother died, but he has recently passed on, so I decided to come back to England. If I may, where have I landed?”

“You are now in Scotland, milady, and my garrison and I would be happy to provide you with shelter until you have recovered and know where you are going. Do you have anyone expecting you in England? Is there someone you can write to?” She shook her head.

“No, there’s no one. I’m the only person left in my family, and so I got all the money and estates when my father died. But, legally, women cannot own land, so I can’t hire servants or live there without a guardian or husband.” Randall nodded his understanding, but he couldn’t help but stare at her. She was a stunning woman, with green eyes and dark hair that fell in long waves. It was only as her body started to shiver did Randall break out of his trance, as did the rest of the garrison. Walking toward her slowly, he started talking again.

“We would be honored if you would accept our hospitality. Fort William is only a few miles away, where you can stay until you settle things in England.”

“I thank you- “She trailed off. 

“Captain Jonathan Randall.” She gave a hint of a smile. 

“If it’s alright with you, Captain, I would be happy to accept your hospitality. I don’t feel able to travel at the moment.” Which was quite true. Besides her shivering, Anne’s skin was alarmingly pale and her body didn’t seem like it could hold itself up much longer. Not after waking up and only having a few minutes before climbing a fifty-foot cliff. Jack was surprised she was standing at all, and only hesitated for a moment before he shook off his coat and walked around to put it over her shoulders. She didn’t object, which he took as a good sign, before he led her over to his horse. Before he could say anything, she climbed onto the saddle and swayed only a little, finally hitting her limit. He climbed on behind her, in order to support her weight. The garrison started off back to the fort, with the two of them on horseback towards the back. 

“Lean back a bit.” Jack encouraged, seeing how tired she was. She looked back at him, clearly about to say something, but instead she turned back and slowly leaned back into him. One of his arms held the reins while the other snaked around her waist to hold her so she wouldn’t fall off the horse.


	2. Fort William

By the time they got back to the fort, Anne was exhausted and could barely open her eyes. It was freezing here in Scotland, and her dress was completely soaked through. Captain Randall provided a good amount of heat, and by the time they arrived at the gates, she wasn’t cold anymore. This wasn’t a good sign. 

“Lady Howard?” She opened her eyes and saw they had stopped in front of a large stone building in the inner courtyard. Captain Randall had already dismounted and was standing with one hand resting on her side, ready to help her down. Carefully, Anne got down, but her knees buckled when her feet hit solid ground. Randall caught her and picked her up, bridal style, and started walking towards the main building, shouting orders as he went. “Unload the lady’s things and put them in my chambers immediately. And someone send for the healer in the village at once.” 

“Right away, sir.” He carried her into a large room where a fire was already warming the space and laid her down on a long reading chair. There weren’t any guest rooms, and the garrison slept in long hallways lined with beds. As Captain of Fort William, Jack was the only person with a private room, a four-poster bed, and even a bathtub in the corner.

“I’m sorry we don’t have proper lodgings for a lady, but I hope this will do.”

“These are you chambers?” Anne asked, amused even in her tired state.

“Yes. Only the Captain gets his own room. When a lord comes, they stay in an estate a mile or so away, but it’s currently empty.” Anne nodded her understanding, a movement that made her dizzy and tired. “We need to get you out of those wet clothes. May I?” He gestured to her large soaked-through underskirt. Anne slowly sat up with Randall’s help, keeping one hand on the back of the chair as she turned her back to him.

“Go ahead. Undo the skirt first, then the laces on the bodice.” She didn’t have the energy to say much more. He first removed his large red coat before carefully untying the skirts and, after a moment, moved her hair over one shoulder to gain access to the laced back. Slowly, he helped her take off the top bodice and had her sit on the edge of the chair so she wouldn’t have to get up to remove her skirts. As she laid back, extremely more so exhausted, she felt a warm hand on her forehead.

“You have a fever.”

“I figured as much.” She replied. “I stopped being cold on the journey here.” A knock sounded and a young soldier came in carrying the makeshift sack with Anne’s belongings. He was in and out of the room before she could thank him. 

“I assume there are some clean clothes in there?” 

“Just a clean shift, I think. I wasn’t planning on the ship sinking.” He searched the large bag, finding mostly small but heavy boxes, bags and bags of coin, papers in glass coverings, a pair of pants, riding boots, and finally a shift. He stepped toward her with it and she held out a shaking hand. “Turn around. I think I can handle this.” He obeyed and tried to think of anything else other than the beautiful young woman undressing behind him. The thought intrigued him, since he’d never really imagined being attracted to women. “Alright, you can turn back around.” It was surprising that she had any energy at all to talk to him or move, but he as he turned, he saw her body sway a bit.

“Let’s get you to bed.” Is all he said before picking her up again and depositing her on the bed as carefully as he could. He carefully arranged a blanket on top of her as her eyes closed. Her eyes instantly closed and he watched over her for an hour or so before another knock came and the village physician entered. The garrison’s surgeon had died a few months prior and so they’d been forced to ride in the healer from the village whenever someone was injured. Jack didn’t say anything until he was at the bedside.

“Is she the only survivor?”

“That we’ve found, yes.” Captain Randall moved aside and sat near the fireplace, but kept an eye on Anne’s sleeping form.

“Where did you find her?”

“On the beach. She coughed up a bunch of seawater and then had to climb the cliff face to escape some unruly Scotsmen. By the time she made it up and accepted out offer of hospitality, her skin was as pale as it is now and she was soaked to the bone. She barely got on the horse and when we arrived here her legs gave out getting off. She and I also noticed she developed a fever on the ride here.” Randall rattled off as much information as he could, watching as the healer felt Anne’s forehead, nodding.

“You are correct about the fever. She was talking to you? When?”

“An hour ago, before you arrived. That and getting out of her wet clothes took all of her energy, it appears.”

“I’m surprised she was talking. Most of the water is out of her lungs, then, so we don’t need to worry about that.” The healer replied before he pressed on her stomach, an action which caused Anne to wince in her sleep. “Did she complain of stomach cramps?”

“No, but from what I’ve gathered, Lady Howard isn’t a woman who fully discloses all her pain.” Besides not mentioning the stomach cramps, Anne had a look about her, but Jack was having a hard time placing it. All he knew was that he had seen that look before, not too long ago. The healer nodded and stepped back. “What do you think?” The healer shook his head and moved to the other side of the room where Jack sat. 

“She is very weak. If her fever and stomach cramps don’t subside by morning, I fear she will not live long.”

“Are you sure? She climbed a cliff in that state.”

“Yes, so there is some hope for her, but I would send for the minister if I were you. Her chances are small, from what I can tell.” Randall nodded, looking up only when a small pained moan came from Anne. The healer left, only saying that he should put a cool cloth on her head and pray, since that was all that could be done at this point. Jonathan grabbed a linen cloth and dipped it in the clean basin of water before grabbing a chair and walking over to the side of the bed. Anne had kicked off the blanket and was grimacing in her sleep, holding her stomach with one hand. He moved the chair right up next to the bed and carefully placed the cool cloth to Anne’s forehead, making her breathe a sigh of relief. There was work to be done, reports to write, and he needed to get a letter out to the region’s lord that they had a highborn lady with them, saved from a shipwreck. But he couldn’t bring himself to move as he continued to watch her sleep. The letter would take a week to reach its destination, and by then, he didn’t know whether or not she would be alive. 

“Captain Randall?” Anne’s eyes fluttered open and Jonathan released the breath he didn’t realize he had been holding. “What’s wrong?” His brows furrowed in confusion. Even in her half-awake state, Anne seemed to read his facial expression. When he didn’t answer her, she asked, “Did the healer come already? The one from the village?” Jonathan nodded.

“Yes, he was here a few minutes ago.”

“And?” Anne recalled the many years of her childhood when she helped care for sick servants and nearby farmers. Their cook was also a healer, and when Anne could escape lessons on running the household and proper etiquette, she went down and helped the sick. Again, Jonathan was not willing to answer her. “Just tell me, please.”

“He said that if your stomach cramps and fever don’t stop by morning, you won’t live long.”

“There is something else, what is it?”

“He told me to send for a minister, since in my position, he would.” He bit out the words, and they seemed to be more painful coming from his own mouth. 

“I don’t want a minister.” Anne said, looking at him. “I’ve followed God all my life, and if I am to die here, then I know he will welcome me into Heaven without last rites.”

“As you wish.” Is all he could say. 

“It’s all right, Captain. I’m not afraid to die.”

“I doubt you are afraid of anything.” He replied and she smiled before grimacing again. “Can I do anything for you, my lady?” He asked, feeling completely useless as Anne was battling for her life.

“You can stop calling me ‘my lady.’ It’s Anne. If I’m going to die tonight, I don’t want to die next to a complete stranger.” Jonathan smiled. She was a spirited woman. 

“As you wish, Anne.” He watched her for closely for a few minutes as she tried to control her breathing and slowly started to curl into a ball. “There has to be something else I can do for you?” 

“Hold my hand?” Anne asked quietly and extended her pale hand toward him on the bed. He took it and started rubbing circles on the back of her hand to soothe her. “Thank you.” Her eyes closed and she fell asleep. She still grimaced in her sleep or let out a small but painful moan, but Jonathan continued holding her hand. And, for the first time in decades, he prayed. His unnatural desires had, in the past, made him feel entirely separated from the Christian faith he was born into. He had prayed less and less in his younger years until eventually he felt too far from God, and so had stopped praying entirely. But now, with an innocent soul closing in on death, he prayed for hours for her survival and long-lasting health. He prayed until, eventually, he fell asleep, with his head on the feather mattress and Anne’s hand still clasped in his. 

=== 

The next morning, Jonathan Randall woke with an aching back and no female hand in his. Still groggy from sleep, he didn’t open his eyes, but instead let his other senses take in the surroundings. His head was still laying on the mattress, but now there was something warm laying right next to his head. Another moment later he realized that there were delicate fingers running through his hair. The last time someone did this to him was his mother. It was actually one of the only memories he had of her, when she came up to his rooms late at night and ran her fingers through his hair until he fell asleep. So, he kept his eyes closed and let the fingers continue to work. If this was a dream, he didn’t want it to end. Eventually there were two hands that reached and grabbed all of his hair before tying it back with the standard black ribbon.

“I know you’re awake.” His eyes sprang open and his head lifted to see Anne sitting up with a pillow propped behind her. “Hello Captain.” 

“You’re alive.” Is all he could think to reply. A smile graced her face, which now had color.

“It appears so.” 

“How do you feel?” Anne sat up more and took his hand.

“Much better thanks to you.”

“I think we can attribute your survival to you, my la- “She gave him a warning look. “Anne.” 

“I heard you praying for me. And you held my hand the entire night. You helped save me too.”

“I haven’t prayed in a while.” Jonathan admitted and immediately regretted letting that piece of information out. 

“I know.” She replied but didn’t elaborate. “But thank you for doing it for me.”


	3. A True Gentleman

Jonathan stayed with Anne until the afternoon, watching as she fell in and out of consciousness. Eventually one of the lieutenants knocked on the door with a tray of food for them, happy to see Anne alive as well. The cook had sent some bread and broth with onions and chicken for Anne, knowing that after all the trauma her body had experienced in the last day, that all she needed was something simple to eat. Carefully, Captain Randall set the tray beside the bed and handed her the bowl and a piece of bread. She ate everything the cook made for her, but refused any more food when he offered. 

“I’m assuming you probably have other things to do than play nursemaid?” She teased. He let out a small chuckle.

“I’m sure my pile of papers has gotten quite high in my absence. But I don’t want to leave you alone here.” She shook her head.

“Please don’t put off your work on my account. As you can see, I’m on the mend. I’ll be alright if you left for a bit to work. Just for a few hours.” At his stare, she relented. “Fine. How about one hour? And I better see proof of you working, not just looking at the clock worrying.” Jonathan huffed and stood. 

“Alright, one hour. Now that you’re much recovered, I suppose I can write a few letters about your presence here. Word of your father’s death will reach England before the letters do, but everyone will want to know that his only heir has survived.”

“Thank you.” Captain Randall nodded and left her, only stopping once at the door to look over at her before walking out. Carefully, Anne got out of bed, the food giving her more energy. She walked over to where her sack of possessions still lay on the long reading chair and took out the only pair of pants she brought. Then she went and retrieved her green corset from the dress, which was still intact, and attempted to tie it as best she could over her shift. The boots didn’t take as long to lace up, but finally, looking in the mirror, Anne deemed herself presentable enough to do some work. It was, after all, the least she could do for washing up in their lives. When Anne opened the door, she discovered a soldier posted outside the door. His eyes went wide at her appearance, but when she asked him where the kitchen was, he told her to head back into her room. 

“I have orders for you to stay in bed until the Captain returns.” Of course, he did. Anne huffed and shut the door in the soldier’s face. Looking around, there was a window, which was big enough for Anne to open and fit through. Looking over the side, the lower part of the roof was only a few feet for the drop, which she landed on relatively gracefully. Anne got on her hands and knees and carefully moved off the roof, only allowing herself to drop to the ground when she couldn’t go down further on her own. She fell when she landed this time, but no one seemed to notice. Most of the soldiers were probably eating their midday meal by now, so she continued to the next building where a few soldiers were coming out, rubbing their stomachs happily. Not knowing who else had orders from Captain Randall regarding her, Anne stayed in the shadows until they passed before opening the door and slipping inside. Instantly, she saw the staircase to the right, which did indeed lead to the kitchen where the cook and a few helpers were already preparing dinner. 

“Excuse me?” Anne spoke up. All sets of eyes turned up to look at her. “What can I do to help?”

“Do highborn ladies usually make meals?” The cook asked.

“No, but I did learn. It beats posture lessons with books on your head.” The cook laughed and grabbed a knife. He set it down next to a pile of vegetables and gestured to them. 

“Thank you, mistress, we need all the help we can get around here. Start with those, and then you can help knead dough for the bread and fill the pitchers with ale.” Anne nodded started chopping. 

=== 

Exactly one hour later, Captain Jonathan Randall walked through the door to his quarters. Turning to close it, he spoke,

“I worked for one hour and brought the drafts for the letters to be sent out about your survival. I thought you might like to read- “He stopped short when he realized Anne wasn’t in bed, or anywhere in the chamber for that matter. He opened the door again.

“Where did she go?”

“Sir?” The confused lieutenant peered behind him into the room. 

“Lady Howard isn’t here.” It was taking every bit of his self-control not to strangle the young soldier.

“She came out for a moment, but when I told her to go back inside as per your orders, she did. She didn’t come out this door.” Randall scanned the room, noticing that the window was open before chuckling. Of course, she   
climbed out the window. But where was she going?

“Where did she want to go? Did you ask?” The soldier nodded.

“She asked where the kitchen was.” Captain Randall turned away and started walking down the hallway and down the stairs. He walked quickly over to the dining hall and down the steps to the kitchens, where chopped vegetables and meats were being tossed into pots. The cook noticed him and walked over.

“What can I do for you today, Captain?”

“Was Lady Howard here?”

“Yes, she helped prepare dinner and asked what else she could do. I didn’t have any other tasks so I sent her to the stables. Those young lads are getting lazier with the seasons.” Randall nodded before rushing out the door again and making a beeline for the stables. 

“Where is Lady Howard?” He asked the stable hands as he strode in.

“She was here, Captain, not too long ago. She helped up brush and bathe the horses. But when we finished, she said she had to leave to go write a message or a letter of some kind.” Randall only nodded before trudging back to the main building and up to his office. Opening the door, he immediately saw that the room was empty, but his quill was laying on the desk with wet ink. He looked out the window and saw her walking slowly across the courtyard to where a rider was saddling up. 

“Bloody hell.” He jogged down the steps and continued until he was only a few feet behind her. She didn’t notice him, but was instead busy giving instructions to the rider, who was leaving for a postal run. Anne handed him a folded piece of paper and a large bag of coins. 

“Find the town seamstress and ask her to come here. I am in desperate need of new clothing. You can keep two pounds, but the rest goes to her if she will come tomorrow.” The soldier nodded and looked over her shoulder to see him. 

“I will, Lady Howard. Good day, Captain Randall.” He said before riding off. Anne whipped around to find him standing behind her. She bit her lip to hide her smile. 

“Hello, Captain Randall.” She said it like it was an ordinary day instead of the morning after her brush with death. 

“I guess I’ll have to start chaining you to the bed.” Anne raised one eyebrow and Randall realized his wording. “Forgive me, I only meant- “

“I know what you meant.” Anne chuckled. “But I hope you won’t. Since it appears I will be staying awhile, I want to make myself useful. It’s not often a highborn lady gets to live an ordinary life.”

“I really wish you would stay in bed and recover.” Captain Randall pleaded with her.

“I’m fine.” Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow. “Really, I am. Now, if you’ll excuse me, Captain, I have to go pick some herbs for tomorrow.” She bowed her head and started to walk away, grabbing a basket from near the gate. Sighing, Jonathan jogged to catch up with her. “What are you doing?” 

“If you insist on working so hard, I will be coming with you to make sure you don’t have a relapse. Besides, I may be of some assistance.” Anne scoffed and continued walking, but Jonathan could see a smile starting to form. They walked in a comfortable silence until they reached the edge of the woods, where Anne started examining and picking herbs, and Captain Randall decided to speak.

“Why did you decide to come back to England?” He asked while Anne was examining some mushrooms. 

“It’s my home. I didn’t like living in Ireland. There is unrest there and the people… well… they’re angry. My father almost never let me out of the house so I had no friends except for a few servants, but I had to keep our friendships a secret, or else he would dismiss them.”

“How many did he find out about?” 

“All of them.” A single tear slid down Anne’s pale cheek, but she quickly wiped it away. “He bribed other servants to tell him who I spoke with. He didn’t want me distracted while he taught me what it meant to be Lady Howard.” Captain Randall himself had only met the late Lord Howard on one occasion, where he noticed that the lord, complained about everything from the size of the small castle to the fact that the goblets should’ve been made of pure gold. He knew Lord Howard’s wife had died a few years back, and had at the time been supposedly pregnant. 

“I remember hearing about your mother’s death.” He commented quietly.

“It was one of the saddest times in my life. Losing a mother and sibling in one day.” Anne looked back and noted the shock on his face. “The rumors were true, she was pregnant. I remember my father going on and on about having a legitimate heir on the way. Until my mother went into labor too early and died. They tried to save the baby, but there was no hope. But I remember being glad that she died. My father was furious when he found out that the baby was another girl. He smashed everything in sight and then drank himself into oblivion. The next morning, we resumed my studies and he never spoke of my mother again.” He reached down and put his hand over hers.

“I am sorry. Truly.”

“Thank you.” She said before standing up. “Do you have any family?” 

“My parents died a long while ago, but I have a younger brother named Alexander.” At her encouraging nod, he continued. “He currently works in France as secretary to the Duke of Sandringham. But we still correspond every couple of weeks. He’s young and seems to have an unparalleled positivity towards the world. But… I love him very much. He’s the only family I have left.”

“He sounds like your opposite, Captain.” Anne chuckled.

“Oh, he most certainly is. You two would get along very well. But, he has yet to see the darker parts of this world, and I want to protect him for as long as I can.”

“I can understand that. I used to have fantasies of a young lord coming and sweeping me off my feet. Now, I’ve come to realize that no one loves a woman for who she is, but instead for what she can offer: a title, wealth, a chance to carry on the family line. And I learned not to long ago that there are real monsters in the world, worse than the ones you grow up knowing.” Randall wanted to ask what she meant, but her eyes told him that this wasn’t the moment to pry. Especially when he realized that they had already walked back to the gates of Fort William and Anne’s basket was full. As the pair passed through the gates, Anne turned to him.

“I have to go drop this off at the kitchen and help with dinner, but I’ll see you soon?” He nodded.

“Yes, I could stop by your chambers?” 

“They’re your chambers too. I’m just a guest.”

“Well, it wouldn’t be proper for me to stay in the same room with you. Your reputation- “

“I could care less about my reputation!” He seemed to have struck a nerve, and her reaction definitely had a story behind it. She composed herself before continuing. “I would feel safer, after the last two days, if you would stay with me in your chambers. The reading lounge is quite comfy if you would feel better sleeping there.” While her tone was full of authority, Captain Randall could see the fire extinguished from her eyes. What had happened to this woman? What horrors had she encountered in the past year?

“I’ll see you later tonight in our chambers then, Anne.” He bowed his head toward her and she gave a small curtsy in return and gave him a small smile before turning and walking away. As Jonathan Randall watched her walk away, he realized that this woman who had suddenly dropped into his life, was unlike any other woman he’d met. She wasn’t worried about getting her hands dirty and only seemed to want to help others. A selfless woman, indeed. An intriguing one also. The idea that they were becoming friends made him smile, something he hadn’t done in a long time. Were there many other women like Anne that he hadn’t noticed before? Not likely. Claire Fraser was the closest person to Anne that he had met, but they were still very different people, and Anne was not a witch of any kind. Not with the way she talked about God. Still, Jonathan resolved, he wanted to learn everything there was to know about Lady Anne Howard.


	4. Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains (pretty vague) descriptions of rape, so please do not read if you don't feel comfortable with this type of content!

Despite her best efforts, it took Anne and the other kitchen helpers’ hours to serve and clean up dinner. Captain Randall wasn’t there, but she was told that he always took his meals in his office so he could get more work done. Seeing as she was the reason he wasn’t working as hard, she let one of the other kitchen helpers bring him his meal while she fed the rest of the garrison. Once the dining hall was emptied, the next round of soldiers who had just finished being on watch came through to get their dinner. The next few hours after they left were spent scrubbing pots and laying out ingredients for breakfast. 

When Anne finally stumbled into their chambers, exhausted, the first thing she noticed was Captain Randall. His long form was draped over the long reading chair, asleep. She walked over and picked up a book that he must have been reading and put it on the shelf by the fireplace. After a few moments of searching, Anne found an extra blanket and carefully draped it over Randall. She gave him one last glance before walking to the corner of the room and undressing down to just her shift before crawling into bed.

=== 

Captain Jonathan Randall woke up with a neckache. He remembered he had been reading, but he must have fallen asleep at some point. He carefully sat up, rubbing his neck as he took in the room. The book he had been reading from the night before was laying on the bookshelf near the fireplace. He glanced down and saw that someone had given him a blanket. Anne. His head whipped over to the bed, where the blankets were pushed to one side, their occupant already gone. Jonathan threw on a clean uniform before heading to his office. Last night he thought that Anne would’ve brought his dinner, but she sent someone else instead. He didn’t know what to make of that. Breakfast came, brought by another kitchen helper, and Randall pushed the thought aside once more as he started working. He really needed to catch up on the past few days. He had already sent the letters out, informing that world that the Lady Anne Howard was alive, but there wouldn’t be any replies for a couple of weeks. 

After lunch, he took his normal walk through the fort, making sure that everyone who was on watch duty was there. Once he got to the far wall which watched over the gardens and nearby forest, he noticed that the soldiers stationed there all had their eyes trained in the same direction. Turning, Captain Randall immediately understood why. 

Anne and another kitchen helper were at the apple trees near the garden. Though all of the reachable apples had already been picked, Anne was currently climbing to the top and carefully throwing apples into a basket. The average soldier was too heavy for the thinner branches to hold their weight, but Anne looked as light as air as she climbed. She moved from tree to tree, getting the rest of the apples and distracting every soldier in sight. After they had a few baskets of apples, a group of soldiers came out and helped her carry them inside. Randall could hear her thanking them before she turned and started taking down the laundry from the lines, folding everything up before putting them away in baskets. Her dark hair was braided back, but when it fell back over her shoulder, it seemed even darker compared to her creamy white skin. He watched her for a few more moments before clearing his throat loudly, alerting the soldiers of his presence. Their eyes quickly cast back to their assigned posts. 

Back in his office, he tried to work, but his thoughts continued to drift to that afternoon. The soldiers had to travel to the village to purchase whores for the evening, so having one woman, especially one as beautiful as Anne, was like being under a spell. Randall turned back to his papers, trying and failing to read and understand the contents as his thoughts couldn’t be brought back under control and his neck still ached. That’s when the knock at the door came. 

“Come in.” He didn’t bother to look up this time, knowing the chances of it being Anne were slim to none. A plate was set down next to him.

“Hmm. A delivery of fresh meat in two days. The cook is going to love that.” At the sound of Anne’s voice next to him, his head whipped toward her, bringing a new wave of pain to his neck that made him grimace. She was looking at the paper he had been trying to read. Her eyes moved over his face in assessment as she spoke again. “What’s wrong?”

“I haven’t seen you often in the last day. I was starting to think you were avoiding me.” Her brows furrowed in confusion. 

“I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intent. I was trying to make myself as useful as I could. It turns out that feeding an entire garrison is quite a few hours’ worth of work. That’s why I was late getting back last night. But that’s not what I was asking about. Are you hurt?” Her eyes starting roaming over him again. “You didn’t look very comfortable last night when I found you.”

“Just a small neckache is all. Nothing to be concerned about.” Anne rolled her eyes. 

“I am concerned considering that it’s my fault.” Seeing his confusion, she continued. “Admit it: you were planning on sleeping on that lounge since I told you that I wanted you to stay in your own chambers.” He nodded and immediately regretted the action. “Let me help you. It’s the least I could do after all that you’ve done for me in the past few days.” 

Without waiting for his answer, Anne stepped closer and with careful fingers, reached under his chin and untied the white scarf. Her stubbornness led Jonathan to the conclusion that it would be best to let her help, so he stayed still as she finished unwrapping the scarf from around his neck and laid it on the desk. Her soft hands returned to his neck, where she proceeded to press with her fingertips until she felt him tense. She started at the base of his neck before moving gradually upward. Anne not only soothed his neckache from the night before, but made sure to unknot any and all other tense and badly knotted muscles her fingers came into contact with. Jonathan Randall didn’t remember the last time someone did anything like this for him before. Being so tender with him, a monster. Anne stopped after checking once more to make sure that there were no other knotted muscles in his neck before reaching over, grabbing, and retying the scarf.

“Thank you.” 

“Anytime.” Anne smiled and cast a look toward the door. “I have to go. The seamstress will be here soon and I have to help with dinner.”

“I doubt I’ll see you tonight then?”

“I doubt it.” She agreed.

“Just promise me one thing.” Anne looked at him and nodded for him to continue. 

“Try to sleep in tomorrow. You’re going to work yourself to death if you don’t slow down a bit.” She let out a laugh.

“Alright. I promise. Goodnight, Captain Randall.” She said, pausing at the door. 

“Good night, Anne.” He smiled at her and she smiled back before disappearing out the door.   
Just like the night before, Anne was back in their chambers at an ungodly late hour. As she shut the door and locked it behind her, she turned and noticed that Captain Randall had grabbed one of the many pillows from the bed and was now sleeping on the lounge again. She grabbed another blanket and draped it over him before crawling into bed and falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

=== 

That night, it was screaming that woke Captain Randall. At first, he thought the soldiers were just being rowdy drunks, but the next noise was definitely a female cry. His body shot up, looking immediately for the threat, but only found Anne tossing and turning on the bed, clearly dreaming. Or, by the sounds of her pleading and crying, it was a nightmare. Randall got up and approached the bed slowly, trying to figure out the demons that plagued Anne’s sleep. 

“Please, stop! No! You can’t do this! Stop!” She pleaded in her sleep, and a moment later started crying again. “No! No!” Anne kicked and seemed to be fighting, but Randall couldn’t take it for one more second. He grabbed her arm and started saying her name, but she didn’t wake. She just continued kicking and crying. Finally, he decided to wrap his arms around her. She wasn’t very strong, so once his arms were around her and pinning her arms to her sides, he started talking to her.

“Anne! You need to wake up. Please wake up.” Her eyelids fluttered open and she stopped moving, trying to take in her surroundings. When she noticed a pair of strong arms around her, she started squirming again and he immediately released her. She rolled to the far end of the bed before turning to face him, her face falling instantly in both relief and embarrassment. 

“Captain Randall?”

“I’m sorry I grabbed you, but I didn’t want you to stay in that nightmare any longer.” Anne nodded and looked at the bedspread, trying to catch her breath and get her heartrate under control. 

“Thank you.” She said, looking up at him and moving a piece of dark hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“You have nothing to apologize for, it’s not your fault.” 

“No, it wasn’t.” From the bite in her tone, he could tell she wasn’t talking about waking him. Anne brought her hand up and started wiping away her tears angrily. But now, that look in her eyes was back, and he remembered the places he’d seen it. His own eyes… and Jamie Fraser’s. 

“May I ask you a personal question?” She stopped and looked up at him again.

“Yes.” 

“Have you been raped?” Her swallow was answer enough, but she replied. 

“Yes.” Now she didn’t meet his eyes. “How did you know?”

“The look in your eyes… I’ve seen it before… in my own eyes and in that of another’s.” He waited a few moments for her to finish composing herself before he continued. “Would you like to talk about it? It helps, or so I’ve been told.”

“The other person you mentioned? Did they talk about it with you?” She asked quietly.

“No, he talked with his wife about it, and from what I’ve heard, he’s better off for it.” Anne nodded slowly before crawling back over to the other side of the bed and getting under the sheets, leaning her back against the headboard. Randall had started to move away, knowing she probably didn’t want to be so close to a man right now, but she held out her hand.

“It’s alright. You can stay there. I don’t feel… unsafe with you.” Randall’s first thought was that she should feel very unsafe with him given his history. “I guess I’ll start with my trip. I went to a neighboring lord for a few days to meet his son. My father desperately wanted me to get married, since I’m past the normal age to wed, but my father wanted the most strategic match he could find. On the way back, we stopped for the night and made camp. My father’s personal guards accompanied me, but that night, they got way too drunk. They started saying horrible things about my father and the family. I was in my tent reading, but I knew that going outside would be a stupid idea, so I stayed put. It didn’t matter. They started talking about me and before I knew it, I was being dragged out of my tent.” Anne took a deep breath as the memories came flooding back.   
“They held me down and tore my clothes off. The first one held me by the throat so I couldn’t scream, but he held me so tightly that I couldn’t breathe. I almost passed out, but they slapped me a few times to make sure I was awake. Everything is a little fuzzy after that. I can’t remember how many men violated me that night. My guess is four or five.” A tear rolled down her cheek.

“They passed me around, half unconscious, like a whore. When it was over, I finally passed out on the grass next to my attackers. I woke up the next morning before any of them. I grabbed my robe and a horse and rode as fast as I could the rest of the way home to my father. The guards were about an hour behind me, but when I got home, it was so different. My father was angry, of course, at the guards who did this. Ruined his daughter. But me… he didn’t care about what actually happened to me. He just cared about the fact that I wouldn’t be a proper bride. When I got into the house, my father had a few trusted servants clean me up and dress me. They erased what happened on the outside, and my father told me that I would tell every suitor that I was a virgin, or he would kill me and find a new wife to have heirs with. So that’s what I did. I lied to every suitor, and I will have to lie to even more of them here.”

“What happened to the guards?” Randall asked quietly, hoping her father decided to tear them limb from limb.

“They were at the house by late afternoon. My father made me tell him which ones I knew… violated me… but I didn’t remember all of them until much later. He paid all of them off and made them sign contracts where they weren’t allowed to tell anyone anything about that night. But… he still kept them in his employ. And… this is the first time I’ve ever shared the story with anyone.” Anne looked down and wrung her hands. 

“Thank you for telling me about it.” Randall said, hoping to convey in his tone how much it meant to him that she trusted him. 

“Thank you for listening. And for your discretion.” Anne added.

“Of course. I’ll take your secret to my grave.” He promised and she relaxed a little. That’s when he noticed her shivering. He slowly reached out and placed his hand over hers. Anne only flinched a little, but it was probably because of the sudden warmth. “Your hands are freezing.” He started rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand, trying to warm them a bit. “You said you were past the normal age to be wed?”

“Yes.” She saw his next question before he asked it. “I’m two and twenty.” It was strange to think that when he was eighteen and had enlisted in the army, it would be the same year she was born into a great family as the presumed heir. Anne let out a small yawn, bringing Randall back to the present.   
“You should get some rest.” He started to move off the bed but she grabbed his arm.

“I will, but you should stay here too. It’s your bed after all.” She flipped open the blankets on his side in invitation.

“That wouldn’t be proper.” Anne chuckled at his response. 

“Well, I’m already ruined. And I’m cold, so get in and go to sleep.” She said before laying down and rolling onto her side, facing away from him. As loud as the rational soldier in him screamed to go lay down on the lounge, he still got into bed next to her and watched as her breathing deepened in the minutes that followed. Once he was sure that Anne was asleep and not in danger of having another nightmare, he rolled onto his back and closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably post chapter 5 on Friday!


	5. Closer and Closer

Before Jonathan Randall opened his eyes, he immediately noticed that he had slept in late. The realization also came that he’d had some of the best sleep in his life last night. Blinking away the rest of his tiredness, he moved to get out of bed, but found that he couldn’t. Looking down, he saw that at some point in the night, Anne had moved over to him. She was still sleeping, with her head on his chest and her arm around his waist, preventing him from going far. His arm had also at some point curled around her smaller form. Her dark hair spilt across his arm, catching the light as the sun came through the window. Randall moved his wrist and caught a lock of Anne’s dark hair, twirling it between his fingers and marveling at how soft it was. Knowing that moving would cause Anne to wake up, he decided to stay put and simply watch her sleep. 

Eventually, he felt her head move slowly, and he turned to look at her. At first, Anne blinked a few times, trying to clear her head, before she realized she was laying on a warm chest. Confused, she looked up to find him watching her.

“Good day, Anne.” He almost laughed at her shocked expression but decided she was embarrassed enough as she sat up and scooted away.

“I’m so sorry! I didn’t realize that I would- “He stopped her.

“It’s alright really. You had a bad night. Don’t apologize for things that are out of your control.” He could tell, from what she’d told him of her father, that she constantly apologized to him, not wanting to disappoint him. Or give the man a reason to disown her entirely. Anne’s shoulder’s slumped. Before either of them could say anything more, a loud knock came and the door opened a crack.

“Captain Randall, we have a delivery for Lady Howard.” Came the soldier’s timid voice. Randall met him at the door, still in his cotton undershirt and pants from the night before, and took the offered chest. The soldier nodded and closed the door. Randall walked over and placed the chest on the reading lounge while Anne got off the bed and approached it. He stepped back and watched as she lifted and lid and started taking out clothing, letting out a contented sigh. 

“Not as fine as you’re used to, I’m sure.” 

“No.” She agreed. “But far more comfortable, and it will be easier to blend in. I did order some more expensive dresses, but they’ll take a while to make. These, however, are perfect.” 

“You want to blend in?” He asked and she turned her head toward him. 

“Of course. Silks and satins aren’t exactly good in this weather or to do work in. I’m sure when lords start coming to meet me, they’ll be expecting me to wear them though.” She seemed put out by the thought. “So, I’ll wear these until I’m not allowed to.” Anne walked over and grabbed her makeshift bag and poured the contents out on the lounge. Randall sat down and watched as she started sorting through things. She sorted out the bags of coin, placing each one carefully in the bottom of the chest, but leaving one out. He cocked his head to see the papers, sealed in glass panes. Anne noticed him reading and began talking. “The night my father died, I went to his office and grabbed all of the deeds he kept in his personal ledger. All of the land deeds and titles are here, along with my birth certificate… things like that. I wanted all the documented proof at my disposal. Thank goodness he kept everything in one place. I had a few hours before our ship left, so I had them sealed in glass in case they got wet, and I’m grateful that I did.” She wrapped the glass panes in fabric and put them in the chest before she stacked on a hair brush and a few other items, before moving on to the many small boxes littering the rest of the lounge. 

“May I ask what are in these boxes?”

“Jewelry. My favorite and most expensive pieces. I didn’t pack much, but I wanted something I could sell if need be or wear when I go back.” She didn’t seem happy when talked about her future, as if her jewelry was the only thing that would make her happy. Which was probably true, Jonathan’s parents had an arranged marriage, as did most families. He couldn’t remember one that had a happy marriage. Perhaps that’s why he gave up on women so early, it seemed impossible to find one who loved money more than a husband, or one who believed in the idea of love, but was never willing to try. His mother had once told him that the only true joy she’d had in her life was her two sons. Maybe it would be the same fate for Anne. It seemed like she already understood this, but he couldn’t help but wonder…

“Have any of the suitors you’ve met… interested you?” Anne thought deeply for a moment before answering. 

“No. There were a few that were very kind for a while, but they quickly tired of playing a role. All of them wanted me for my father’s title and money, but I made sure to court them long enough for my father to be pleased. Then, I usually figured out a way to embarrass them at a public dinner so that I wouldn’t have to marry them.”

“Quite the planner I see.” She smiled.

“Yes, well, I was in no rush to get married.” Was. He noted the past tense. Now she had no choice but to marry, in order to claim all of her titles, lands, and money. Anne finished putting the boxes away and laid out a new forest green dress made of wool. Captain Randall grabbed a red vest and started toward the door.

“I’ll grab us some food from the kitchens, since it appears that we slept through breakfast.” Anne’s cheeks reddened. While he was gone, she changed into a new shift and stockings, but realized the corset might be a challenge. Anne put it on and tried to tie it, but it couldn’t tie all the way up. The corset she’d been wearing for the past few days tied in the front, but this one did so in the back. Her arms just weren’t flexible enough to do this by herself. A servant usually did it for her in the mornings. Frustrated, she continued until the door opened again. Her head moved toward it only when she heard a light chuckle as the door closed again.

“Having some trouble.” Captain Randall had two plates of food in his arms and moved to set them on the bed.

“Shut up.” She retorted and tried to pull on the strings again. “I should’ve known to order front tying corsets. Bloody hell!” 

“Would you care for some help?” He asked, gesturing to her unlaced back.

“How many corsets have you tied in your life, Captain?” Anne raised an eyebrow.

“This will be my first, but I’m sure I can figure it out.” He moved behind her slowly, took the laces, and started carefully pulling on them. Anne helped, telling him when the laces needed to been loosened or tightened, and finally he finished by tying off the end. 

“Thank you.” Anne turned around to look at him.

“Anytime.” He replied and she smiled. 

“I might have to take you up on that.” She moved around him and finished dressing before scarfing down her breakfast. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later?” 

“Later.” He agreed, knowing she probably wouldn’t be able to bring him his afternoon meal. It would be later tonight. Anne nodded at him and left.

The day passed by quickly, as he tried to catch up on work from the past few days. It was slow-going, as he could only think of Anne. When dinner was finally cleared and he had done as much as he could, Randall headed back to their bedroom. He was surprised to find Anne already sitting on the lounge, sewing, when he came in. 

“You’re back early.” He commented as he came over and sat in another chair across from her. She smiled and looked back down to her work. 

“Yes, I finished cleaning the uniforms for the day, so I decided to come back and start mending the ones that need it.” She moved her head to the side, indicating the pile of shirts, coats, and pants that each had varying holes and rips on them. There was already a smaller pile next to her that was folded and mended. 

“You’ve been quite busy today.” She nodded, smiling, before she grabbed a small bag and tossed it to him. He caught it easily and immediately noticed how heavy it was and the clinking noise of coins. At his confused expression she spoke up.

“For my expenses. I know you’ve had to order extra supplies since my arrival.”

“I can’t accept this.” Anne scoffed and went back to work.

“You can and you will, since I’m not taking it back.” Her tone left no room for argument. 

“You already work around here all day. I hear the men whisper about you, working for hours on end doing all sorts of chores.”

“It’s the least I could do. I may also be the only one here who knows how to handle a needle and thread.” She joked. He couldn’t argue with her there. Randall quickly gave up and put the bag of coin on this bookshelf. He would add it to the accounts tomorrow. Grabbing a book, he settled himself back into the chair and started reading. He tried to read one page at a time, before he allowed himself to sneak one glance at Anne, who was still concentrating on her mending. He didn’t know whether his mind was playing tricks on him, but he could’ve sworn that she was also stealing glances his way. He continued until his eyelids felt heavy, and so the book made its way back to the shelf and he changed out of his main uniform into a sleeping shirt and pants. 

“Do you need help?” Anne turned, brows together in question. “Untying that monstrosity.” He clarified, gesturing to her corset. She gave a small chuckle. 

“Please.” He nodded and walked toward her. She turned around and moved to the edge of the lounge before pulling her dark curls over her shoulder, giving him access to her laced back. It only took him a minute or so to undo it, and he saw her body settle and relax once it was freed of the constraining garment. He then said goodnight to Anne when it was made clear she wouldn’t be joining him until everything was mended. After an hour or so of drifting off and waking back up for no particular reason, Randall felt the bed on the other side shift as Anne crawled in and laid down, her breathing deepening soon after. He watched her until he sank into unconsciousness as well.

The next morning Randall woke up to find Anne once again sleeping on his chest. She’d had a dream last night where she was mumbling and tossing next to him, but she only seemed stressed rather than frightened as she had the night before, so he let it play out until she stopped moving again. Anne’s eyes opened a few minutes after his did, quickly noticing where she was. She blushed and look up at him. He smiled despite himself, prideful of the fact that she had again unknowingly sought him while sleeping. Whether it was for warmth or comfort, he didn’t care. 

“Good morning.” He greeted and she sat up slowly, untangling herself from his grasp. 

“Good morning.” Anne replied.

“I’m assuming you’ll be out all day?” In the last few days, she seemed to have made a routine for herself. 

“Not tonight. I’m not on kitchen duty.”

“Perhaps we could have dinner together then? It’s been a while since I’ve used the dining room.” And he was also intrigued to hear more about her.

“That would be perfect. Once you’ve had a bit of wine, I can start prying secrets out of you.” There was a wicked gleam in her eyes as she smiled. But she was holding something back. Maybe she’d heard the garrison soldiers talking about him? None of them knew the truth about Wentworth, but rumors spread like wildfire when there wasn’t much else to do. 

“I’m sure you will.” He got up and started getting ready. Anne followed suit and he once again tied her corset for her before heading towards the door. “I’ll see you tonight for dinner, then.

“See you tonight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will be posted on Monday, but it will be a much longer chapter!


	6. The Dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: This chapter contains discussion of torture, murder, and rape. The events of Wentworth prison are discussed (and that episode is its own warning!)

Jonathan Randall paced the floor of the dining room, looking over the place settings for the fifth time before the door finally swung open and Anne entered. She was dressed in a more formal gown made of green velvet, but her hair was still down. She gave him a smile before looking over at the table. Dinner had yet to be served, but a frown appeared on her face when she realized there was to be one chair between her and the head of the table where he sat. 

“Why the extra chair?” Anne asked, tracing the wood frame. 

“Because…” He decided he might as well be honest with her. “Because after I tell you more about me and some of the things I’ve done… I think you’ll want to run away.” Anne looked like she was about to protest, but instead said,

“Would it make you feel more comfortable if I sat over there?”

“Yes.” He replied. Anne complied to his request without a word of protest. “You didn’t put of much of a fight.” Randall observed as he took his own seat and started pouring wine for the two of them. 

“No.” She said quietly, looking up at him.

“Which tells me that you’ve already heard rumors about me.”

“Yes.” She confirmed and took the glass he passed to her. 

“I’m sure the garrison has come up with many good rumors as to why I was shipped here. But- “Anne cut him off.

“I didn’t hear the rumors from the garrison.” His brows furrowed. 

“Who then?” Anne took a sip of wine before speaking. 

“My cousin, Laurence Howard.” At Captain Randall’s questioning stare, she continued. “He served at Wentworth Prison at the same time you did, Captain.” He racked his brain but came up with nothing.

“I don’t remember him.” 

“He didn’t think you would either. He was one of the two guards who found you under a door at Wentworth, unconscious.” 

“Where is he now?” 

“Dead.” Anne leaned back in her chair. “He died about a month ago, but he told me what he saw at Wentworth while he was on his deathbed. About you.” 

“And what did he say?” 

“When he found you under that door, he noticed you were barely dressed, and had just come from a prison cell where they were keeping a man. A man you apparently had saved that morning from the noose.”

“I’m assuming he investigated further?” Anne’s grip tightened slightly on her glass, but she continued. 

“You didn’t let anyone else in the room when you were questioning him, but after they hauled you to the infirmary, Laurence went back to the cell. The prisoner was missing and the back door was open, but he also found the remainder of your clothes in the cell… along with the prisoner’s clothing. Laurence brought your clothes back to your office and didn’t tell anyone besides me… because he was so afraid of you.”

“So, you’ve known all of this since you’ve been here, and yet, you can stand to be in the same room with me. How is that?” He leaned back in his chair and stared at Anne.

“There’s more to every story. Yours, in particular, has plenty of details missing. But also, you’ve only been kind to me.”

“So that’s why you let me sleep in the same bed? Because you knew of my previous… unnatural desires.”

“Yes.” Anne propped her chin on her hand. “Would you tell me the whole story?” He didn’t doubt that she would keep his secrets, so he nodded, filling both of their glasses again as dinner was brought in and served. After the kitchen helper left, he started talking. 

“His name is James Fraser. I whipped him a few years ago, in this very fort, in fact. But that was just the first of our many encounters. When I rode into Wentworth, as fast as I could, they were about to hang him, but I claimed to be on the King’s business and managed to confine him to a cell in the bowels of that prison. I couldn’t believe my luck. When they moved him to the cell, I didn’t go down right away. In my many years, I’ve learned that letting prisoners sit and think about how I might torture them is better than just getting on with it. When I finally did go down to see Jamie, I brought a large brute and the petition of complaint that he left to the Duke of Sandringham. I managed to get it from the Duke. It detailed my character and had enough evidence to get me kicked out of the British army and sentence me to hang. But I burned it… right in front of him. I saw the hope slowly start to flicker out, but I wasn’t done. I explained to him that his stay of execution was only temporary, and then asked him if I haunted his dreams. I asked him if when he makes love to his wife, and she traces the scars that I put on his back, if he ever thinks of me.”

“And did he? Think of you?” Anne asked quietly. 

“Yes, and by his posture I would say often.”

“And then?”

“And then I offered him a deal. That he would admit the truth: that he was terrified being in this place, this position. And in return I would give him an honorable death of his own choosing. His surrender was the only I wanted in the world at that moment in time. And I swore to both myself and him that I would get it… before I killed him. And so, the deal was on the table.”

“He didn’t take it, did he?” 

“No, he didn’t. A small part of me hoped he would, but the better part of me knew he wouldn’t. So, after he refused, I asked him if he would show me his back. The masterpiece I had created. He agreed.”

“Why?” Anne’s brows furrowed. 

“Because it was a trap. He let me get close, let me start to lift his shirt, and then he grabbed me by the throat and shoved me into the servant I brought with me. They fought for a minute or so while I had to catch my breath. He easily overpowered Jamie, which is why I knew I should bring him in the first place, in case this happened. I kicked him in the head, though, when he started choking Jamie. The brute wasn’t particularly smart, but he served his purpose of keeping me safe well enough. After that little stunt, I punished Jamie. I had him held down while I smashed his wrist and hand to pieces.”

“So, you wanted to dominate him?”

“Exactly.” He realized that Anne was making a real effort to understand his monstrous side, and he was grateful for it. 

“What happened then?”

“I left the cell. I needed to collect myself. He’d gotten me angry, but when I broke him, I didn’t want to be angry. But when I got back down to the cell, his wife was there. Claire. She was trying to break the lock on Jamie’s chains, but he was unconscious anyway, so I don’t know what her plan was after that.”

“I’m sure she had plenty to say to you.” Randall chuckled, nodding. 

“I believe she called me a beast and a ‘fucking sadistic piece of shit’. She also expressed how angry she was that she didn’t slit my throat after her husband rescued her from this very place. I told her that she would defiantly come to regret that decision.”

“I assume you had no trouble apprehending her.”

“None. My help did that for me. I was impressed with her resourcefulness, and that much I did admit to her directly. She is a very clever woman. The two of you would get along wonderfully, I think. But I didn’t have time to dwell on it too much, a few soldiers burst in, looking for her. She tried to make them tell the warden about what was happening, but I told them they couldn’t take her into custody, as she was involved in a plot to kill the king.”

“That was a good lie.” Anne observed.

“And very easy one to tell, no doubt. They were terrified of me, and the moment I allowed them to leave, they scrambled away as if there was fire on their heels. Marley, the help, was very keen on raping Mistress Claire. I didn’t care to watch. I was focused on Jamie, so I left Claire in Marley’s… care. But she managed to throw him into the stone staircase and get me in the corner where she tried to choke me with chains that were dangling from the wall. Jamie had finally awoken and managed to shove a stool leg into Marley’s throat. I got free of Claire, but it was too late for Marley. I grabbed her and a hammer and dragged them out of Jamie’s range. To say that he was enraged was, well, an understatement. I wasn’t intent on raping her, but I used the idea as leverage, and Jamie made me a better offer.”

“Which was?” 

“Jamie promised that I could have him, if I let his wife go safely free. He promised he wouldn’t fight or struggle, as long as Claire went free. But I didn’t quite trust his word, so I asked if I may test his promise, and he agreed. I told him to lay his ruined hand on the table, and as he did, I let Claire go to him. I took a nail and… nailed it straight through his palm into the table.”

“And?” She could tell he was contemplating if he should start withholding information. 

“And I made him kiss me.” Randall took a long sip of wine before continuing. “I kissed him until he desperately needed air. And then he asked me to take Claire away, so she wouldn’t have to bear witness to all the horrible things I was about to do to him. I tried to drag her away, but she ripped herself from my grasp and kissed her husband goodbye. In that moment, I realized that their love was the most powerful thing I’d ever seen. But I still dragged her out the doorway, down the dark hallways, and started talking to her. I told her about a rumor I’d heard, which claimed that Claire was a witch.”

“And is she?”

“She told me that she was. She placed a curse on me. She told me the day of my death.”

“Which is?” Anne seemed intrigued.

“April 16th, 1746.”

“What did you do to her then?”

“Not much. I threw her out the door we use when disposing of the prisoner’s bodies. She fell, but didn’t break anything, and left. Then I was free to go back to Jamie.”

“That must have been very empowering. Knowing that you had his submission.” He looked up at Anne and nodded in agreement. 

“It was. So, I returned to the cell. Jamie, of course, made sure that I had led his wife away safely before we proceeded. I’d expected nothing less.”

“Did you finally get to see his back?”

“Yes. I took my knife and tore open the back of his shirt. After two hundred lashes, his back looks… gruesome as many would call it. But to me, it’s a masterpiece. I traced them, and thought of the day that I made them. It gave me… an almost euphoric feeling. Then I offered him a drink and pried the nail out of his hand. He watched and when it was out, he vomited and fell to the floor. I helped him sit up and got to hold him, in my arms, and I kissed him. Over and over. But it was like kissing a corpse.”

“But he promised he wouldn’t resist. Not that he would pretend to like it.” Anne countered. 

“True. He said as much. But I still tried… to make him feel good. To pleasure him. He wasn’t willing though. He told me to take my pleasure and be done with it, and spit in my face. So… I did.”

“You raped him.”

“Yes. And he screamed in agony. Afterwards, he crawled away. He started seeing a vision, of his wife, but I didn’t understand why he could still love her as a broken man. But he told me that he was mine… and I made him prove it… by having him brand himself with my initiated seal. I wanted him to put the brand over his heart, but at the last second, he moved the heated seal into his side. It didn’t matter though. The next time, I had him pretend I was Claire, and I got what I wanted from him.”

“He liked it, didn’t he?”

“Yes, he did. And when he came to, afterwards, he realized how ashamed he was. I asked him how his wife would ever forgive him, and he wept. We slept for a time, but then I started hearing noises and commotion from above, so I got half-dressed and was about to leave when he spoke. Jamie asked me to kill him then and there because I owed him a debt, but I refused. I wanted more time with him, but the noise persisted. It got louder and louder, so I walked down the hall to one of the back doors and opened the small window… only to get trampled a moment later by two dozen cattle. The only reason I am still alive is that there was a door between us and one of his rescuers didn’t check to make certain that I was dead. They got Jamie out and away, and my men found me later on. I regained consciousness and called off the search party they had assembled. I didn’t think that Jamie would want to live after what I’d done, but I once again underestimated that stubborn wife of his. They’ve fled the country. And I was sent here to recover. Still, I prefer this fort to Wentworth, and hopefully, they won’t send me back anytime soon.” Anne nodded before opening her mouth to speak, but quickly shut it. “What is it?”

“Before… you said your ‘previous’ desires. Have they changed?”

“Yes.” He admitted. “I got what I wanted from Jamie, and now I feel almost… empty. The last few years, all I could think about was him, but now I… I realize I don’t miss him.” Anne raised an eyebrow, patiently waiting for him to continue. “When I was younger, I worked with the Duke of Sandringham. I still do, but our relationship was… more intimate then. We spent so much time together that I barely noticed women after I left to become a Captain in the army. He told me that women were wicked and vile creatures that men had been forced to love, and so I took him at his word. But when I met Claire, she wasn’t like he described. She’s good, truly good, and cares for Jamie in a way that makes me… jealous. When she tried to rescue him from that prison, something started to change. It took me a while to figure it out, but I finally realized that…” He trailed off, staring at the other end of the table. Anne leaned into his field of vision.

“That?” Anne asked quietly. 

“That I do want someone like her. A woman, a wife. A little light in this dark world that I’ve been accustomed to. But that won’t happen until I can be reposted in England. The only reason these rumors are allowed to fly around is that there is no proof to arrest me.”

“Because you killed the proof.” Anne said it as more of a statement than a question.

“Yes.” He looked at her, trying to decide if she was strong or stupid for not running for the door. As if she heard his thoughts, she started talking.

“I know that you’ve done horrible things, but I can’t judge you, not when I have my own sins.” He almost laughed. He was sure that his own sins were much worse than hers. But her eyes told him that she did feel that her sins were, at the very least, bad enough by regular standards. Instead of speaking, Anne showed him her empty cup. He got up and grabbed the bottle, walking up behind her rather loudly so she wasn’t surprised by his presence. As he poured wine into the glass she held up for him, he noticed she wasn’t shaking as he would’ve otherwise suspected, but she was taking deep breaths, trying to calm her nerves. As he walked back to his chair and sat down, he spoke.

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t wish to. I understand.” And he did understand. What it was like to have a secret buried in the deepest part of your soul. 

“No, I want to. Since you’ve shared your darkest secret with me, I want to return the favor.” Anne took a long sip of wine before taking another deep breath. But the next words that came out of her mouth, he wasn’t sure that he understood. “I killed my father.”

“What?” 

“I killed my father.” She repeated. “The day before I got on that ship. It wasn’t old age, or sickness, or disease, or even an accident. I murdered him with my own hands.”

“You committed patricide?” Now that he really looked at her, he knew she was telling the truth. 

“Yes.” He asked another question before he could think better of it.

“Do you regret it?” Anne chewed her bottom lip for a moment, thinking carefully before answering.

“No, I don’t.” She shook her head. “Does that make me a bad person?” He chuckled.

“You might want to pose that question to someone who isn’t me. But,” He paused. “I would like to know what he did to push you over the edge, at least enough to kill him. I know he forced you to keep your… attack a secret, but that’s not it.”

“You are perceptive as always, Captain.” Anne replied.

“It’s Jonathan, please. After all we’ve shared tonight, we are definitely on a first name basis.” She smiled. 

“Alright, Jonathan.” She took another drink. “You are right, though. My father had done plenty of terrible things to me in my lifetime, but then one day, he just snapped. I had gone to meet another suitor, and when I came back home, I found my father in his study. The suitor’s father was with him, and he handed my father their agreed upon engagement contract for his son and I. I’d heard rumors about the son before I left to meet with him. They said he gambled and whored his way through most of Ireland before he met me. So, when I got there, I questioned his servants. He hits them. With his hands or whatever is closest. I upset him once while we were walking one day, and he grabbed my arm and was about to hit me, but then thought better of it. He knew I was soon to be engaged to him and didn’t want my father to change his mind. But when I got there and told him about what almost happened, he didn’t care. He signed me away, like a mare for breeding.”

“What happened to the suitor?” If there was still an engagement agreement somewhere, the suitor could come and claim her. But Anne shook her head, as if she could read his thoughts.

“He had a hunting accident a few weeks back. His horse ended up on top of him and crushed him. He’s dead.” Jonathan nodded. “The other lord left to go make preparations, but I knew I could never marry his son. So, I ripped the engagement agreement in front of my father and burned it. That, at least, gave me some time to sort out how I was going to get out of that match entirely. But- “Her voice broke. “My father punished me for it. The first time I defied him, he locked me in my room. The next time, he locked me in for a few days. The third time is when he hit me. My maids had to find powder to cover the bruise every time I did something wrong. But that time… he was beyond furious. It was terrifying. He was talking, saying that he just wanted a son, but instead he got a useless, defiant, stupid daughter instead. That’s when I noticed the whip he took out from his desk. He had his guards tie me to one of the wood poles at the entrance and gave me ten lashes. I could barely stand when it was over. It was the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life. They untied and left me on the floor until my maids could drag me back to my chambers. Some of them dressed the wounds on my back while the others had to clean the floor so no one would ever know. They healed in a few weeks, but I was told some would scar because they were so deep. Apparently, my father had used a whip with bits of metal attached to it, to do more damage and make his point clear: that I was dispensable if I tried to defy him again. So, I decided one night that I would kill him.”

“You must’ve done a good job at hiding it, otherwise there would be an investigation and plenty of speculation towards you since you were on a ship the next day.” Anne nodded.

“I knew that I’d have to make it look natural so that I would inherit everything, but I had to be careful. There are guards patrolling the house at night. Most of them are outside, but we have a few stationed near the entrance and back door. One night I went down to our healer’s surgery area. She had died a few weeks previous. Something was wrong with her heart. But I remembered she taught me how to make a concoction where drinking it would immobilize the patient, so they wouldn’t climb off the table or injure themselves further by trying to move. I made it and when his maid was pouring his evening brandy in the kitchen before he went to bed, I made sure to distract her long enough to pour it in the glass. It takes a while for the concoction to work, so he had some time to dress for bed after drinking it. I packed that afternoon only what I could carry and left it hidden in the stables with my horse. That night, I got dressed in my riding clothes and took a secret passageway to my father’s room so no one would see me. He was in bed trying to call a servant for help, but he couldn’t lift his head, much less speak. I slipped into his room and when he saw me, his eyes widened, and his face was one of pure shock. He knew then that I did it, and he watched as I pulled one of his pillows out and put it over his face. He struggled for a few minutes, and then I felt him relax, and his heart stopped. I made sure to close his eyes and fix everything so it looked like he had died in his sleep, but his face is what haunted my dreams in the following days. His study was one room over, so I took all of his deeds and titles. I took another secret stairway out to the kitchens where the guards were all passed out drunk and grabbed any other papers I could find, recipes for medicines, any official papers. No one stirred.” 

“You didn’t kill your rapists?” Jonathan knew that Jamie would defiantly kill him if they ever crossed paths again, and Anne had already committed one murder. Why not make the count a bit higher?

“No. I didn’t think it would help much, and I was right. I’m glad I don’t have their blood on my hands. They deserve a chance to change, if they can.”

“Do you think it’s possible? For a monster like them… like me… to change.” Anne looked baffled by his question.

“Of course, I do. People can change, maybe not all the way, but it’s not impossible.” She shook her head. “I pray for my attackers and their souls, every day. And if they don’t change, then they will rot in Hell. But I wasn’t going to stay and find out how they would treat the death of their lord and employer. So, I rode all the way to the docks, which took an entire day. I left instructions for our head servant to pay everyone before they closed down the house. I wrote that I found him early that morning and couldn’t bear to see him like that, so I would go to England. That’s when I boarded the ship to sail here, and a few days later, I was laying on the beach after surviving a shipwreck.” Anne finished, sitting back in her chair, watching him. 

“Well,” He finally spoke. “The difference is that your father deserved what he got, but Jamie… Jamie didn’t. I tortured and raped an innocent man, and you killed a father that let your rapists stay in his employment and flogged his only child.”

“But do you regret what you did?”

“Yes.” And he realized then that he had answered honestly. “Though I cannot say that I regret the marks I put on his back. That day, the two of us made a masterpiece, and I know its monstrous to not be sorry for that, but I can’t pretend that I am. Maybe someday I will feel some remorse for it. Maybe not.” He replied, taking a long drink.

“So, which is worse? You, who regret what you did to someone still living, who has chosen to live the rest of his life with his wife, even though you haunt him. Or me, since I killed my own father, my own flesh and blood, as revenge for what he did to me, and I don’t regret it.” Both were silent. “There is no right answer, we were both wrong to do what we did, but it’s done. Nothing can be changed, so… let’s drink.” Jack poured her another glass before filling his own. 

“To regret, felt by monsters like us.” He said, lifting his glass. 

“To regret and monsters.” After that they talked about more pleasant things. The best parts of their childhood, Jack’s first few months in the British army, Anne’s etiquette lessons, and their shared passions for books and chess. 

“You’ll have to oblige me a game sometime.” Randall said.

“Of course, so long as you’re not too much of a sore loser.”

“I can assure you I have very good sportsmanship. You?” Anne tilted her head in contemplation. 

“No, I’m not a good loser. That’s why I make it a point to win, so I never have to worry about it.” Jack chuckled. 

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh.” Anne stated it as more of a question.

“I haven’t truly laughed in years. Something you are starting to remedy.” Anne blushed.

“I haven’t made you laugh yet.”

“No, but you’re well on your way.”


	7. Painful Reminders

Since Anne probably wouldn’t be back for a few more hours, Jack Randall decided to use the opportunity to take a hot bath. His side ached painfully after many long days of sitting in a chair for hours on end. Trying to catch up on the past few days’ worth of work, along with balancing new responsibilities and making sure that the other daily assignments got done, he was surprised that he was still standing by the end of the day. But he had to work, day in and day out, because otherwise his failure would never allow him to be re-stationed anywhere near England. So, as he trudged back to his chambers, he made the decision to allow himself one hot bath this evening. He told a few young lieutenants to start boiling and bringing up pails of water, and then they would be allowed the rest of the night off for their labors. They started rushing down the stairs before he finished his instructions, eager for extra time off their duties. 

Clutching his side, Randall walked into his chambers and poured himself a glass of whiskey, hoping it would at least dull a small portion of the pain. The surgeon had removed the wood splinters from his side after they found him under the door, but the site of injury was still slightly raised and appeared paler than the rest of his tan skin. He sat on the lounge chair, enjoying the whiskey, as the lieutenants appeared once more with pails of steaming water that they dumped into the clawfoot tub before rushing back out the door for more. Anne had already utilized the bath a few times since she’d been at Fort William, and the soldiers who charged in with the buckets were getting faster and faster. 

After the last bucket was dumped in and the room was finally empty, Jack poured lavender oil into the water before stripping down and climbing in. The warm water worked wonders on his aching muscles, allowing him to finally relax in peace after the past few harrowing days. After he washed up, Jack laid his head back on the lip of the tub and closed his eyes, content to just lie in the warm water for as long as possible. And he was doing just that, until the door opened, and Anne rushed in. She didn’t notice him as she strode over to the lounge, picked up the mended clothing she had done after their dinner last night, and handed the pile to outstretched arms at the door.

“Here’s everything. If there’s any more uniforms that need mending, bring them to me directly.” She instructed as the officer left. Closing the door, Anne leaned back against it and closed her eyes. She stayed there for a moment before walking over to her chest at the foot of the bed and putting her sewing supplies inside. Knowing she wouldn’t be leaving the room anytime soon, he decided to speak.

“I figured you would be back later.” Anne jumped at his voice. Her head whipped around as she put a hand over her heart. 

“You nearly scared me to death!” She scolded him before she noticed the tub. Anne quickly turned around. “I didn’t realize you were otherwise occupied.” She continued putting things away. 

“Actually, I was just about to get out when you came in.” Anne huffed and another knock sounded at the door. She rushed over to the door and opened it only slightly, hiding her face and giving Jack enough time to get out of the tub and grab a towel.

“I have your meals, milady. And a message for Captain Randall.”

“Thank you, officer.” Anne took both plates. “I can carry the note too.”

“I have instructions for it to be delivered directly into his hands.” Jack pulled on his pants and belt and walked to the door. The officer’s eyes widened slightly at his half-dressed state while Anne’s cheeks reddened, and she walked over to their small dining table with the plates. Jack took the note from the officer, dismissed him, and shut the door. Walking over, he took his seat at the table, still shirtless, and opened the letter. His eyes lifted to Anne.

“I think you’re a bit flushed, Lady Howard, is something wrong?” His voice conveyed his smugness at the situation. 

“Shut up.” She kept her eyes on her plate, busying herself with cutting the fish and potatoes and filling both of their glasses with wine. He chuckled and got up, noticing that Anne cut a glance at him when she thought he wasn’t looking. He threw on a clean linen shirt and sat back down.

“Better?” Anne nodded. “I take it you don’t dine with half naked men often, then?” Now it was her turn to laugh.

“No, I’m afraid not.” She took a drink of wine. “How long has that bump on your ribs been there?” 

“Since Wentworth.” It never occurred him that Anne, who had told him about her days helping sick servants and nearby villagers, might know why that knot had appeared a few weeks ago. 

“I want to examine it.” It was more of an order than a request. Now it was Jack’s turn to huff, knowing he would lose any argument he started. He waved his knife.

“Fine. After dinner.” She nodded and continued eating, casting glances at the folded note next to him every now and then. “Oh, yes. That is a letter from one of the local lords. He wants to come meet you.” 

“When do you think he’ll come?” Anne asked. 

“I’m sure he’s on his way now.” Her eyes widened. “Depending on how much luggage he brings, it could take days or a week or two for him to arrive.” She relaxed slightly at that. They spent the rest of the meal talking about Jack enlisting in the British army and working his way up the ranks while his father realized his younger brother would have to find a different occupation. “Alex loves books, much like you, but he’s always been sickly. As a child they didn’t know if he would survive, but he’s managed all these years. But his current job is secure for now, and thankfully the Duke doesn’t travel much. They’re in France right now, but I assume they’ll head back to England at some point in the near future.”

“Will you leave to go visit him?” 

“Definitely. The army gives me leave twice a year, so I correspond with him and go wherever he is at that time.”

“Do you have any other siblings?”

“One older brother: Edward. He’s the reason I joined the army: because I knew I wouldn’t inherit our family’s estate in Sussex. My father was pleased with me, for once, and I only went home once a year after I left. And that was only because of my mother and Alex.”

“It seems bad fathers are common enough, then.” Anne remarked.

“Too common for my taste.” He agreed. Then he looked back up at her. “I’ve never seen your hair up before.” Indeed, Anne’s hair was tied up with pins and small ribbons as was the style for working women. 

“And?” 

“It suits you.” He answered honestly. “I think anything would.” Anne smiled. They continued eating in silence and Anne volunteered to bring their plates back to the kitchens. 

“I have to get some supplies anyway.” She gestured to his side. “I think I know what’s wrong and how to help. So you,” She gave him a pointed stare. “Better stay in this room.” He threw his hands up, a gesture of defend. 

“I am at your command, milady.” She cleared the plates and left the room. Knowing the poking and prodding was coming, Jack walked over and poured himself a generous amount of whiskey before settling down on the lounge. He was on his second glass when Anne came back, carrying all sorts of things. She set them down on their small dining room table, and he watched from the lounge as she started grinding things up and mixing them together. She looked over at him, her eyes narrowing at the glass in his hand. 

“You’ll probably need more than that.” Was all she said before turning back to her work. Knowing she was serious, Randall grabbed the bottle and started drinking directly from it. Once everything in the bowl was mixed, Anne poured it on a linen cloth and tied it together with a ribbon before she dipping it in the boiling water and fishing it out a moment later. Walking over to him and the almost empty bottle, she dropped to her knees next to him before carefully lifting his shirt. She grabbed the bottle from him before she started probing the area around the knot, nodding her head in confirmation before she pressed the poultice against his side and told him to hold it there. 

“So, am I gravely injured?” Anne scoffed. 

“No. The surgeon just missed a piece of wood when he was digging in your side. My mentor told me that the body makes a sac around foreign things so they don’t do any more harm, but then the site gets infected.” She nodded her head to his side as she walked back over to the table and grabbed more supplies. Anne came back over with an empty basin, along with a small knife and tweezers. Laying next to her was also a pouch where he knew she kept her sewing supplies. 

“I’d like that bottle back.” He requested. 

“I need it to clean the area.” Anne replied.

“I think your bedside manner needs some improvement.” He said as he felt something weird in his side. 

“I think your right.” Anne said and moved his hand and poultice away before making a quick cut in his side over the knot. 

“Bloody hell!” He growled. Anne eyes flooded with concern.

“I’m sorry! I just thought if I did it quickly- “

“No, it’s alright. That’s how it should be done.” Anne nodded before grabbing the tweezers.

“Hold still.” Was her only command before she carefully picked out a piece of wood that was about an inch long. She helped Jonathan lean forward before putting the empty basin under his side as the wound began to drip pus. Anne drained the wound, making sure that the sac was removed before she poured the remaining whiskey into the open wound, earning a hiss from Jack. 

“If I didn’t know any better, I would say that you like making men hurt.” The smile she gave him in return was anything but reassuring. As she threaded the needle and started on his stitches, she started talking.

“You did much better than the men I’ve treated in the past. Most scream like their being disemboweled and try to leave.” She continued, telling him stories of men who they’d had to knock out, and the one time where right after they had finished stitching up a man, he had promptly leaned over and vomited all over Anne. She shuddered at the memory. Jack laughed, grimacing. How was he supposed to sleep? “Come on, let’s get you to bed before you pass out.” She finished wrapping the injury before helping him up and over to the bed. He hissed again as he laid down and Anne disappeared from his line of vision for a moment before returning with a small bottle. “Here, drink this.” He did what he was told, choking on how terrible the stuff tasted, but almost immediately his pain started to vanish, and his eyes grew heavy.

“Did you drug me?” He mumbled.

“You need sleep.” Was her only answer as she arranged blankets around him. “Goodnight Jonathan.” And he sank into unconsciousness.


	8. The Heir

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long! The next one will be posted on Friday!

Jonathan Randall woke up slowly, groggy and with a headache. He carefully sat up, wincing as he resituated himself and let his eyes take in the room. Everything was cleaned up from the night before and there was a blanket and pillow on the lounge. No one was currently occupying it, and before he could move any further, Anne opened the door and came in. Her eyes instantly found his as she walked over with a small glass of what was presumably whiskey. He accepted it without hesitation, downing it in one go. 

“How do you feel.” Anne gingerly sat beside him on the bed and felt his forehead. 

“Like my head is about to explode.” Anne chuckled quietly. 

“That’s what happens when you drink an entire bottle of whiskey.” She pulled her hand back. “You’re a little warm.” 

“Why didn’t you come sleep beside me last night?” Despite his oblivious state, he missed her warmth when he woke. 

“I didn’t want to disturb your injury.” Anne replied, dropping a linen cloth into a clean basin of cold water. He nodded and started moving again, intent on getting back to work when he felt her hand on his shoulder. “You are not going anywhere until that fever is broken.” He scoffed.

“I seem to recall you saying that I was a ‘little’ warm.” 

“Fevers can develop, trust me, I’ve seen it too many times. And then you’ll be down for even longer.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “Or you could just stay here and rest for a few hours. Your choice.” Though her tone implied that he really didn’t have much of a choice. 

“I’ll stay here on the condition that you stop inflicting pain on me.” Anne held up her hands.

“Deal.” She replied, rewarding him with a smile. That’s when he noticed the shadows under her eyes. 

“Did you sleep last night?” She shook her head.

“No. I cleaned your wound and rewrapped it a few times, and I stayed up to make sure you didn’t develop a bad fever in the night and die on me.” She said it jokingly, even as the tiredness creeped along her features. He moved over and patted the spot on the bed next to him. Anne came over hesitantly, still wielding the wet linen cloth, and crawled onto the bed to get to him. She touched the cold cloth to his face, but he carefully took it from her. 

“You’re exhausted and will likely pass out if you don’t rest.” She opened her mouth but he continued. “If I have to stay in this bed, you will have to do the same. Now, come.” He took her arm and guided her to face away from him and lay down on his lap. Her body was tense until after a few moments sleep came and her body finally relaxed as she submitted herself to it. Jonathan watched her sleep for a while and eventually reached out to trace along where her neck met her shoulder. He also used the precious time to run his fingers through her dark hair, which looked and felt like the dark silk it portrayed. When she shifted a little, he caught sight of a small red mark on her shoulder blade. He was tempted to move her white shift aside to better see the whip marks that marred her beautiful skin, but in the end, he didn’t. As much as it intrigued him, he would not invade her privacy like that. If she wanted to show him one day, she would. Or she wouldn’t. She would leave her and marry another lord, who would see her scars, the marks of her bravery, and not care. Or perhaps they would love her enough to care. His train of thought led him to consider the possibility that she might end up marrying someone who would add to her collection of scars. The thought made him shudder, but he knew Anne would try to choose wisely. Someone who would be kind to her and never raise a hand against her. His thoughts eventually carried him to sleep, thinking about what kind of man Anne would eventually marry. 

They both woke in time for dinner, letting dinner be served in the room and taken away by a kitchen helper later on, before the pair fell right back in bed and slept the rest of the evening without a stir. 

The next morning, Jonathan awoke with no fever whatsoever. Though he didn’t want to admit it, Anne had been right in that he rest. The problem, however, was that they had rested for an entire day. After he had finished getting dressed, Anne woke and he helped her tie her corset before leaving, needing to desperately catch up on almost a week’s worth of work. He tried to read the budget reports, but he had never been good with numbers, which meant that it usually took him twice as long to do anything regarding the fort’s budget and current finances. An hour later as he rubbed his forehead and decided to continue the budgeting later, Anne came in with his breakfast. 

“Are you alright?” She asked as she approached. He looked up at her. 

“Work keeps pouring in, especially this close to the end of the year when the budgets need to be submitted to the army. But I also need to catch up on other business that I’ve missed.” Anne frowned, knowing that it was her fault that the work was piling up. 

“What can I do to help?” He chuckled.

“Well, unless you know how to run a garrison…” He joked, trailing off.

“I don’t know how to run a garrison.” He nodded, knowing that would be the case. “But I do know how to run an empire. How much different could they be?” She plopped down in the seat across from him and took the papers he’d laid to the side. She gave them a quick look. “Budget reports: now that, I can do.” He didn’t question her as she grabbed a new sheet of paper and quill, and started writing down numbers and calculations in her elegant handwriting. He watched, baffled, as she sorted through the other papers on his desk to find other recordings of the finances and included them on the paper. He worked as well, casting glances at her every now and then. She didn’t look at him, but was instead gave all of her attention to the budget report. An hour later, after the kitchen helper was sent up to clear their breakfast dishes, Anne nodded and held the papers out to him. He took them and scanned them.

“You finished already?” 

“Yes.” She seemed proud of herself. “I just need your approval to put the information on the final budget proposal slip, which I’m sure is somewhere around here.” He nodded his head as he continued reading the numbers in more detail, marveled by Anne’s experience. 

“This is incredible.” Anne blushed at his praise. 

“It’s the least I could do.” He turned and grabbed the final proposal sheet of his cabinet and watched as she carefully copied over all of the numbers onto it before handing it to him to sign. “What else?” In answer, he handed her a stack of papers. 

“Order forms for supplies, documentation of the past week’s events, and other rubbish they make me spend my days filling out.” Anne laughed, dividing the papers between them.

“Sounds simple enough.” 

Anne helped for the rest of the morning, pouring over documents and writing. That afternoon, she sat by his side, recording the wage payout, as one by one, each soldier came in to receive his wages for the month. In the evening after dinner, she set up a small space in the dining room, leaving him to work alone, as she wrote letters for soldiers to their families or simply accepted them to be sent out. After she had a large stack of letters with money between them, she sealed each and every one with wax and wrapped them to make sure that the money arrived safely to their families back home.  
The next morning the pair was working at his desk again when the door burst open and a lieutenant rushed in. 

“Captain, with your permission, we would like to clear the dining hall for a few hours.” 

“Why?” He looked up. 

“There are wagons, sir, that just came through the gates. They’ve come bearing gifts for Lady Howard.” He wasn’t surprised. His letters must’ve reached the lords in England a few days ago, and this was their response. Shower the most eligible and richest noblewoman in England for a chance to marry her. 

“How many wagons?” He asked, knowing it had to be more than the small courtyard could handle if the dining hall was already being considered. 

“Four so far, Captain. More have been spotted in the distance.” He nodded.

“Alright, you can use the dining hall. Start unloading everything so that Lady Howard might look at her gifts.” Anne’s eyes were wide. She didn’t say anything as they continued working, and he decided not to push the subject. After an hour or so, the lieutenant came back in to inform them that the gifts had been laid out for Anne’s inspection. “We’re done for the day, go ahead.” He gestured to the door. Instead of immediately leaving, she grabbed his hand. 

“Let’s go see what takes up the dining hall.” And Anne dragged him along. When he opened the door for her to the dining room, her mouth fell open. Indeed, when he stepped behind her, his jaw dropped as well. Scattered all over the tables were jewels, gowns, and gold. Anne stepped forward and then stopped. 

“How many of them are for me?” Now it was his turn to be confused: weren’t all the gifts for her? The lieutenant pulled out a list and pointed to various tables in room. 

“To the right side are all the gifts for you, milady. The rest on the left are to be given upon your consent to marry. Here are the envelopes that were instructed to be delivered directly to you.” She took them reluctantly and put them in the pockets of her dress before she wandered to the right side of the room. With a smile to two of the soldiers, Anne had them trail behind her as she picked out dresses, pieces of jewelry, and uncut gems. She looked like she was wandering through a farmer’s market rather than through small fortunes at each table. Once she came back to the front door, she gave instructions to the lieutenant.

“Send everything on the left back to the lords. I will not marry anyone who I have not yet met. The rest you can carry up to the dining room to be counted and added to Fort William’s accounts. I know from looking at the accounts that the British government is giving this base less and less to spend each year on basic expenses.” Everyone’s eyes widened and Anne had the two soldiers carry up her collection of dresses to their room. As she walked back to him, he only had one question on his mind. 

“Why?” Her brows furrowed. 

“Because I am fortunate, only because I was born into a wealthy family. I have everything while others have nothing. It was the least I could do, the least anyone could do. But,” she held up a small basket of jewelry. “I did keep a few pieces I liked. I don’t doubt that these gifts will keep this place running for at least a decade, if not more.” 

“How on earth am I going to calculate the worth of this.” She grinned at him wickedly. 

“Don’t worry, this used to be what I did all day. It won’t take long.” He gave her a questioning look, so she elaborated. “My father made me learn the value of every jewel and ounce of gold we owned. By comparison, this is not even close to a small amount of what I used to account for.” He remembered that the Howards were one of the richest families in England, but it still took some time to wrap his head around what she was saying. “Now, let’s go. We have work to do.”

“Oh?” Anne dug the massive stacks of letters from her pockets. 

“We need to read and sort these.” 

“Fair enough.” He replied, since she had spent the entire day helping him. 

They went back to their bedroom and ate dinner before they dove into the letters. Most were love letters, some had a few poems, and at the end, a marriage proposal always ended the letter. The offers came from every lord that Jonathan was aware was single. Many of the lords ranged in age, from twenty to seventy. Anne immediately wrote responses to anyone older than sixty telling them that she sadly couldn’t accept their offer of marriage. After writing one of her latest responses, she slumped back in her chair and started massaging her temples. 

“Why is it that so many old men think that I would marry them when I have so many younger choices?” She asked, mostly to herself. 

“Who knows? Maybe they think you like older men.” She looked up and their gazes locked. 

“I won’t marry anyone old enough to be my grandfather.” Anne shook her head. “But I suppose I can’t be too choosy, since they can still break off an engagement after I meet them. Who wants a wife that has an opinion?” 

“Any man would be proud to have you as a wife.” And as he said the words, Randall realized how true they were. Any man or lord would kill for a young, beautiful woman to rule by their side. 

“Even a king?” He frowned at the question.

“A king?” She nodded and held up an envelope. 

“This is from Charles Stuart, the prince without a throne. He has also asked for my hand. It would gain him a foothold in England and my wealth would be more than enough to fund an army.” The calculating part of Jonathan’s brain wanted to snatch the letter and find out where the pretender prince was hiding, but he instead asked,

“And what will you tell him? You could be a queen someday?” Anne snorted.

“I’ve seen the British army training at my father’s estates. These clans and their farmers with pitchforks don’t stand a chance. Not to mention, I would never want to be a queen. I’ve never adored the spotlight, and being queen would mean my entire life would be on display.” She shook her head, looking so tired and lost. 

“Let’s quit this for tonight. You don’t have to be hasty with any decisions. This is the rest of your life that you’re planning. Take a break and come back to it tomorrow.” Anne nodded absently. “I believe you owe me a game of chess?” Her eyes flicked up and she smiled. 

“Yes, I believe I do.”


	9. The Lord

Captain Jonathan Randall watched as the carriage rode through the gates of the fort, which had been lined with soldiers for the occasion. Lord Thomas only came a few times a year, but when word got out about the Lady Anne Howard staying at Fort William, the lord sent word that he was taking a special trip here to meet her. Though it didn’t say as much in the letter, Randall knew that the lord had come for more than just a meeting. He brought with him crates of good food and wine, and like the others, had trunks on a separate wagon which were probably filled with dresses and jewelry. The only instructions in the letter were to make sure the main room was ready for a party, with the tables pushed back to the outskirts of the room to make way for dancing. A few musicians rode in after the carriage, their instruments tied to the saddle bags. 

Anne stood beside him, smiling at the procession making its way into the main courtyard. She stood on the steps of the main building in a stunning red dress with elbow length sleeves. She wore no jewelry save for the Howard signet ring on her index finger, leaving no doubt as to who she was. In every lord’s eyes, she was the most eligible woman for marriage, and had now also inherited one of the richest empires in England. Over the past few weeks, however, Jonathan began to notice how she never talked about the number of mansions her family owned or how much money or jewelry she had. She had lived at Fort William like a simple working woman, and Jonathan began to wonder which lifestyle she preferred.

“Captain Randall.” Lord Thomas greeted him. Jonathan bowed his head and extended his arm to Anne. 

“Lord Thomas, may I present Lady Anne Howard.” The lord’s eyes widened slightly, taking in Anne’s beauty as she curtsied. 

“My lord.” She extended her hand and he kissed it.

“Lady Howard, an honor. May I offer my condolences on your father. I heard he died peacefully in his sleep.” Randall wanted nothing more to laugh, but he instead focused on Anne, who wore a mask of sadness and hope. 

“Thank you, my lord. May God rest his soul.” Randall was sure Anne would prefer it if her father was in the bowels of Hell, but her face betrayed nothing. “I heard we’re having a dinner and some dancing in honor of your visit?” Anne gave a small smile at the lord, whose eyes had not left her.

“Yes! I thought that such a fine woman would want something joyful in this dirty place. I’m sure you miss your estates in England and are eager to get back to them.”

“Actually, I’ve grown quite fond of Fort William, my lord. But I’m sure I’ll be returning to my estates at some point in the near future.”

“Yes, the most eligible woman in England is what they’re calling you.” Lord Thomas said before leading Anne inside, Randall walking behind. As they walked to the dining area, Anne and the lord were whispering to each other and laughing. “I almost forgot.” Lord Thomas snapped his fingers as servants started carrying in trunks. He gestured for Anne to open them. Inside were, as Jonathan suspected, dresses and jewelry. 

“My lord is too kind.” Anne smiled and picked up a ruby necklace to examine it.

“May I?” The lord asked and Anne handed him the necklace before turning around. She gave Randall a small smile as the necklace was clipped in place. Anne turned back to the lord and touched her pale throat where the necklace now rested.

“It’s beautiful, my lord. Your gifts are too generous.”

=== 

A few hours later after the lord had inspected the fort and changed into even finer clothing, the party in the main hall started. There were platters of meats, breads, and vegetables laid out on tables with wine and ale in large jugs sitting next to them. The kitchen had been preparing for days and Anne loved to talk about working there during the day before falling asleep on Jack’s chest a few minutes later, entirely spent from her work. That night, however, she looked stunning, with no tiredness shadowing her face. Her red dress had many eyes following her as she and the lord went around and talked with the officers and other lieutenants. Jack Randall accompanied them, introducing the higher up soldiers, but when he stood back, he continued watching Anne. Eventually the lord and Anne sat down at the head table with Randall to eat dinner, where Randall saw almost every soldier in the room cast their eyes in Anne’s direction at least once. 

After the kitchen helpers had cleared up most of the food, the lord’s musicians set up in a large corner and started playing. 

“Would you care to dance, milady?” The lord stood up, offering his hand to Anne. She accepted and smiled again at Jack before taking to the floor. It was clear that while Lord Thomas was quite wealthy and knew how to manage his empire, he was not a particularly good dancer. Anne, as graceful as ever, made sure to help him as much as possible and tried to cover his mistakes so the other soldiers wouldn’t notice. They did, since military training did, in fact, include some dancing lessons for events like these. The soldiers were snickering at the lord, but not so loud that he could hear them. Finally, one younger officer asked if he could have the next dance, and Anne immediately accepted. They moved more gracefully, with only a few minor missteps from the soldier. By then, the men had started lining up for their turn to dance with Anne, who obliged them all, one by one. A few dances in, she claimed she needed some water, but Jack also noticed that she went over to the musicians and spoke with them before reclaiming her spot in the center of the floor. From then on, the songs were shorter, but no one seemed to notice. She danced with every soldier in the hall that wanted to, and when she excused herself from the floor before anyone could ask for another dance, Randall was sure she was done for the evening. That is, until she stopped in front of him at the head table.

“Will you dance with me, Captain Randall?” The hall quieted immediately. 

“Of course.” He stood and walked around the table, taking Anne’s hand and leading her onto the floor. The musicians started playing again, and Jonathan instinctively put one arm around Anne’s waist while she put one hand on his shoulder. They moved together on the floor easily, with no missteps. She allowed him to not only twirl her, but also lift her as high as he could and dip her almost to the floor. Her smile was infectious, and he couldn’t help but dip her and hold there when the song ended, their faces only inches apart. There was a resounding applause from the soldiers as he lifted her out of the dip and bowed to her. She sank into a deep curtsey in return.

“My lady is such a marvelous dancer!” Lord Thomas came over, clapping. “Would you care to go for a walk by the garden?” 

“Of course, my lord. I need a bit of food after all that dancing, but I’ll be out in a moment?” The lord produced a pipe from his coats and gestured to her with it. 

“I’ll be waiting just outside. Come out whenever you’re ready.” He said, departing.

“I think he wants to bring you home with him to court you.” Randall said as he pushed in Anne’s chair for her. She gave him a confused look.

“To his estate?”

“You didn’t realize?”

“No, I didn’t realize.” Anne got a second plate of food and started on another glass of wine. “How old is Lord Thomas? I can’t tell with that ridiculous wig all noblemen seem to always have on.” Jack chuckled before answering.

“His lordship just celebrated his 57th birthday a few months ago.” At that, Anne seemed to choke a bit on her wine. 

“I see.” She cleared her throat. “Has he ever been married?” 

“Yes, twice. He has a son from the first one, but she died a few weeks later. Childbed fever. The second one died of smallpox a few years ago.” Anne nodded distantly. “He is a good man, you know. From what I’ve heard, he stayed with both wives until they died, and he wasn’t unfaithful to them.” She gave him a small smile and put her hand over his.

“Thank you for telling me.” She finished her food before standing. “I have to go, but I’ll see you later.” Later, if Lord Thomas didn’t sweep her off her feet and ask her to join him at the beautiful estate he was staying at a mile away, with all its finery. A place fit for a lady. The room cleared out after Anne and the lord had left, and Jack Randall grabbed a full bottle of wine before trudging up to his chambers. 

=== 

Anne trudged up the stairs, tired and pleasantly relieved. As she closed the door to Captain Randall’s and her room, she immediately noticed the man himself sitting in his chair by the fire, drinking a very large bottle of wine. Good. She could use a drink as well after the night’s events. The sound of the door opening and closing stirred Jack out of his thoughts, as he turned his head slightly to see Anne. 

“So… what happened with Lord Thomas? Was I right in that he wants to court you?” He asked, trying to sound impassive, and prepared for her to start packing her things. 

“No. You were wrong about that part.” Jack’s eyebrows went up and he took a drink of wine to mask his internal celebration. “He asked me to marry him.” At that, Jonathan spit out his wine, coughing hard. 

“Well… I’m sure he will make you very happy.” He replied simply, bringing the bottle to his lips again.

“I’m a little offended that you think I said yes to his proposal.” The bottle stopped its journey as Jack’s eyes met Anne’s. 

“You turned him down?” Jack asked, needing confirmation. Anne came over and lowered herself down to the floor by his legs. 

“Of course, I turned him down.” She replied as if it was the most obvious answer. It was then that he noticed her throat was bare. She followed his eyes. “I gave the necklace back. As much as I love jewelry, those rubies were far too heavy for me.” 

“Why?” Was the first and only question that came to Jack’s mind. 

“Well, for starters, I met him a few hours ago. Lord Thomas is… we would be compatible I suppose, but not for the rest of our lives. He said he liked my feistiness, but I’m sure he’d grow to hate it in time, as most men do. Our children would be hideous.” Jack couldn’t help but laugh. “What? He’s not very handsome, admit it.” Anne grabbed the bottle and took a drink before handing it back. 

“It’s true.”

“And…” Anne stopped herself and looked at the fire. 

“And?” Jack prompted. Anne turned her gaze back to his before standing up. 

“And, Captain Jonathan Randall, I am in love with you.”

“What?” He couldn’t have heard her correctly. 

“I am in love with you.” Anne said again and then climbed into his lab, straddling him. “And I know I shouldn’t love you or want to be anywhere near you, but I do.” She cradled his face in her hands, hoping that he felt as she did. 

“You have no idea how utterly happy I am to hear you say those words.” Jack snaked his arms around Anne’s waist and pulled her into a kiss. She responded with vigor and her hand wandered up to grip his hair and pull him closer to her. Jack let her lead the kiss until she pulled away. 

“I’m sorry, I can’t…” She trailed off.

“I know, it’s okay.” He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and cradled her face with his palm. “Take as long as you need. I will wait for you.”

“Thank you.” Anne nudged her nose against his, allowing them to just be in each other’s company. “That means a lot to me.” 

==== 

“I still don’t understand.” Jack stroked Anne’s shoulder as they laid in bed.

“Understand what?” Anne rolled over and rested her head and arm on his chest, peering up at him.

“I thought you needed to marry a lord. Someone with a title. Money.” 

“I just need to marry someone. If my father was alive, then yes, I would be marrying a lord. But now that I am the only heir, the choice can be mine.”

“So, you’ll settle for a feared, middle-class army captain, then?” She chuckled. 

“Perhaps. I don’t want to rush this.” Anne replied, gesturing between them.

“Then you’ll stay here, with me?” Hopefulness creeped into his tone.

“Yes, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“What about your estates? The Howard empire?” He asked and Anne waved a hand dismissively. 

“My family’s lawyers will have everything on hold until I make it back to England with a husband at my side. I received a letter from them a few days ago inquiring as to when I’d be back.”

“And what did you tell them?”

“That I was weighing my options and didn’t know when I would be heading home.” She looked up again to find him gazing at her in bewilderment and awe. “What is it?” He shook his head. 

“How is it that you came into my life and turned it upside down in the best possible way?”

“Fate?” Anne suggested.

“Perhaps.”

“Well, I think fate is telling me to kiss you again.” The corners of her lips turned up. 

“I’m sure we can oblige.” He responded, pulling her to him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter should be up next week, probably Monday or Tuesday!


	10. Captain of the 8th Dragoons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to break this chapter up so that I could post today, so it will be a bit shorter. Posting might be scarce this week and next week as I have midterms and lots of studying to do!

Jonathan Randall woke up the next morning content, with Anne sleeping on his chest. They’d lain in bed for hours the night before, just holding each other and getting used to their newly expressed feelings. Now, he watched her sleep, knowing that she was his. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and she started to stir, waking up slowly before looking up at him. 

“Good morning.” He said quietly. 

“Good morning.” Anne snuggled closer to him. “What are you thinking?” She seemed to always be able to read his face. 

“I was just thinking that I could wake up like this every morning for the rest of my life.”

“Really? I was just thinking the exact same thing.” She moved up and kissed him before she got up.

“And just where do you think you’re going?” He called after her. 

“The kitchens. I didn’t help yesterday, so I promised the cook that I would help all day.” She walked over and let him lace her corset before she gave him a quick kiss and walked out. 

==== 

Time seemed to slow as Jack tried his best to work. The euphoric feeling he had made him want to be near Anne always, and he hoped that it never went away. Lord Thomas had made a hasty exist in the early hours of the morning, clearly upset about being rejected, which Jack didn’t mind.

“Captain?” A soldier stood at the door with a large box in his arms, and had clearly been trying to get his attention for a while. 

“Yes?” 

“Would you like me to put this in your chambers? They’re for Lady Howard.”

“Please do.” He pondered what could be in the box for the rest of the afternoon as he filled out reports, but finally relented and went back to his chambers. The box rested on the table, filled with dozens of letters. All of them were addressed to Lady Howard. 

By evening, Anne was back in their chambers after she helped served dinner, and was off duty for the rest of the night. As soon as she came into the room, she first noticed Jack reading on the lounge and a large box on their small dining table. 

“Are those for me?” He simply nodded and watched as she sat down and started reading them, one by one. At one point, she started sorting them into piles. Looking back and seeing his questioning gaze, she pointed to each pile, explaining. “Lords who have sent a request to court me, lords who have proposed to me, and lords who wish for my signing of the attached marriage license so that we may be wed by proxy as soon as possible.”

“And what will you tell them?” Even now that she’d chosen him over a lord, he couldn’t help but feel insignificant compared to the great and powerful men who wrote to Anne, expressing their love and devotion. Anne stood and walked over to sit near his knees where they were propped up on the lounge. 

“I’ll write to them rejecting every offer.” She said it as if it was the simplest answer in the world.

“Why?” He couldn’t help asking and her brows drew together in confusion. 

“Because I’m in love with you.” She reached up and smoothed his hair back. “What’s this about? What’s wrong?”

“I have nothing to offer you. These are lords wishing to court you: men with titles, wealth, and influence. I have none of that.” 

“Would you promise to love me until the end of our days? Unconditionally?” She held his gaze.

“Yes.” He replied as Anne took his face in her hands.

“Then that’s all I need.” She gave him a long kiss, trying to convey how much love she felt for him. As they pulled back, she gave a small chuckle. “I thought a high-ranking captain such as yourself would know the extent of the Howard fortune?” He shook his head.

“I know that you are one of the richest families in England. No one gave me numbers, though.” She laughed again.

“What?”

“I suppose we are one of the richest families. If that’s how they’re counting these days.” She sighed at his puzzled expression and confirmed. “We are the second richest family.” 

“Second? Who’s the first?” In his head, he ran through his list of lords. 

“The royal family.” His eyes went wide. “So, I don’t need any more money, nor a higher title, nor a husband who has influence.”

“Then what am I supposed to give you?” She shook her head.

“Just your love. I want to spend my life with someone I truly love, not a husband who wants me for power.”

“Well, damn.” He joked, earning himself a small laugh. 

“I know you could care less for politics, and I’m not convinced you would like the clothing all that much. If you married me, you’d have to give up your position here and leave the army.”

“I know. And I don’t care.”

“So, you’re fine with giving up your entire military career for me? I’ve learned that having an empire and luxury is like living in a beautiful cage, but it’s a cage just the same.” Anne explained. 

“I would give up anything, so long as I got to spend the rest of my life with you.” She smiled and allowed him to pull her on top of him, wrapping his arms around her from behind. “Speaking of rank…” 

“Yes?”

“Since you rank much higher than I do, Lady Howard, would you also propose to me?” Her answering laugh was infectious.

“No,” She teased. “I’ll let you do that part.”


	11. The Duke of Sandringham

The next day as he was trying to work a bit more before Anne came upstairs with his lunch, when suddenly he heard dozens of hoofbeats in the courtyard. Knowing the patrols were only comprised of a few horses, he peered out the window to see. A finely dressed man swung down from the leading one and called to a soldier. The soldier near the dining hall nodded and went inside, emerging a moment later with Anne. The soldier escorted her over to the team of beautiful horses, all ridden by what appeared to be servants. They were dressed in silks, but their bored expressions gave them away as their leader approached Anne and produced a large sheet of parchment. Jonathan opened the window and tried to listen, but they were so far off he couldn’t hear the proclamation. 

Still, it wasn’t hard to guess that the leader was a secretary of some sort who was reading a letter from his master to Anne. He gestured to the horses, and Jonathan realized that instead of receiving jewels or gowns, a lord had sent Lady Howard an entire team of horses. The secretary got down on his knees before Anne and gave her a box while continuing to read from the parchment. She waited patiently until he was finished before she put a hand on his shoulder and bid him to stand. Still not being able to hear, Jack only watched as the secretary’s face contorted into confusion and then anger. Anne pushed the small box back into his hand, gestured to the dining hall and then the gate, before walking away. 

Before she got more than a few steps, the secretary jogged a few steps to her turned form and grabbed her arm, whipping her back around to face him. He continued roughly tugging on her arm as he was talking, trying to get her over to the team of horses, presumably trying to get her to go with him to meet his lord. Anne didn’t budge but stepped closer to him, trying to unclasp his hand from her arm while she started talking. Finally, she said something that made the man’s face redden as bright as a tomato, so much so that even Randall could see from his spot. 

Jonathan grabbed his musket from where he kept it on the shelf and ran down to the courtyard as fast as he could. As he got outside the door’s threshold, he saw the man shove Anne back and let her arm go, forcing her to stumble and fall, before he climbed back on his horse and led the team out. Jack’s musket was already loaded as he jogged to the gate’s entrance and took aim at the secretary. Just as he was about to fire, he felt a hand against his chest. 

“Don’t.” Anne breathed, looking up at him. When he didn’t respond, his temper rising, she grabbed his face with her hands and forced him to look at her. “They’re not worth it.” He could feel the garrison staring at him. Could hear the footsteps as some of the soldiers came out of the dining hall to see what the commotion was about.

“He grabbed you.” He gritted through his teeth. 

“And I made him let go.” Anne said patiently, watching his face. “Come here.” She pulled him down to kiss her. The musket fell from his grasp as he wrapped his arms around her waist and cradled her against him. There were hushed whispers and conversations around them, but he didn’t care. Not when he had her in his arms, the center of his storm. “Let’s go inside.” She tugged him along while asking if one of the kitchen helpers would be so kind as to bring them up their midday meal. The garrison just watched them walk across the yard and into the main building, some of them with their mouths agape. 

Lunch was silent, but he didn’t let go of her hand the entire time that they were eating, and she didn’t pull away. Once their meal was cleared and he still hadn’t spoken, Anne tugged him over to the bed and bade him to sit on the bed with her, cuddled against one another. 

“He wanted to take you away.” Jonathan finally spoke after what had seemed like hours. 

“I know. But I’m here. And I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.” Anne soothed, knowing his anger was still lurking. “I won’t let anyone take me away, and I know you won’t either. I’m here, and we’re together, and that’s all that truly matters.” She pressed a kiss to his forehead and finally felt him relax.

“I apologize for my temper, I shouldn’t have- “Anne cut him off. 

“You have nothing to apologize for. Not to me.” She assured him. Even though the rest of his body was relaxed, his eyes held a haunted look. “There’s something else.”

“It just… reminded me of events, from long ago. Memories that I didn’t want to resurface.”

“Do you want to talk about them?”

“Would you mind?” He still couldn’t believe that she cared enough to listen to the horrors of his early life.

“Of course, I wouldn’t mind. Tell me.” She pleaded softly and he nodded while deciding to start at the beginning. 

“My parents died many years ago, but my older brother never cared for me or Alex, and so I took charge of him. He found a few low-paying positions with various Counts and Countesses as their secretary, and he took to it quite well. It gave him the opportunity to learn more and read, but he still needed a better occupation. I had become one of the youngest captains in the British army and was at a party before my next deployment. It was at one of the Duke of Sandringham’s estates. I was using the opportunity to scout out potential employment for Alex with one of the dukes, and the information got back to Sandringham. He invited me into his private study for a drink, and we talked about my brother. He kept refilling my glass, and at eighteen I had never been even partially drunk in my life until that night. He told me that he would take Alex on as his secretary, but I would need to use my position in Scotland to find Jacobite’s, gather information on them, and occasionally imprison them. I accepted that part of the deal.”

“There was more?” Anne asked quietly.

“There wouldn’t have been, except that the servants were also a tad drunk and were talked about the Duke’s preference to men or boys, depending on which one he could silence. The secretary position was open because his last one hanged himself, and when I inquired as to why, the servants told me that the Duke used him to appease his sexual tastes.”

“Oh, Jonathan.” Anne now understood where this was leading. 

“I confronted him about it. I would never let anyone harm Alex, and I was too young naïve to understand the full scope of what the servants told me. Surprisingly, he admitted to his sins, and said my brother would be expected to offer him the same services unless we reached a different agreement. So… I offered myself in his place. My position in Scotland was a joint effort with another captain to oversee me until he felt that I was ready to take on the leadership alone at one of the forts. So, I would be able to travel every few months and stay for a week or so at my family’s estate. Of course, my brother William didn’t want me there, so I traveled to the Duke’s estate in northern England. We would correspond by letter to make sure that he was at the appropriate estate.”

“He kept his word, then, Alex wasn’t assaulted?” 

“Yes, he never laid a hand on my brother, not when he had me. I’m sure he preferred a young army captain to a mere boy at the time. I got to spend time with Alex during the day and visit him, which was another part of our agreement, but at night, I was all his.” He took a deep breath before continuing. “Sometimes Alex would write to say that he was too ill to travel to the estate, and so I would be at the estate with the Duke alone for the entire week. If he was frustrated or angry at the time, he would tie me to his bed for days on end and close the curtains so that I couldn’t tell what time of day it was. Usually, he was in a good mood, so we would keep up the notion of being good friends in the daytime by playing cards or riding horses, but at night, he would use me for hours. Eventually, though, I started to enjoy it. We would talk about how women were vile creatures, capable of only deception and greed. What we had was never love, but I did come to understand him, and eventually become like him. What I came to understand, years later, is that he wanted someone to control and possess. Eventually, I was so tired of being used that I started using other people when I wasn’t with him. I wanted the control like he did. And it almost cost me my life.” Jonathan took a deep breath, trying to reign in his emotions. 

“Come here.” Anne could see that he was struggling, so she directed him to lay his head on her lap, where she then untied the black cord holding his hair and started running her fingers through it. He closed his eyes, enjoying the soft hands massaging his scalp and neck before carding her fingers through his hair. When she finished and tied his hair back, she leaned in close. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell the garrison that the fearsome Captain Randall purrs like a cat when I rub him.” 

“I do not.” He scoffed, halfheartedly. 

“Hm.” Anne clicked her tongue. “Keep telling yourself that.” He sat up and they played chess for hours until dinner, and afterwards he laid down next to Anne, pulling her close and curling his body around hers. 

“Goodnight, my darling Anne.” He whispered in her ear and kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder. 

“Goodnight, my love.” 

=== 

The next morning found the pair still cuddled tight against each other. 

He again felt the urge to hunt that secretary down and slowly peel the skin from his bones. Anne sensed his mood shift and threw her leg over his waist to straddle him, pinning him to the bed. 

“You will not be going after him. I’m fine.”

“I beg to differ.” He said, lifting her shift sleeve to reveal the dark bruise beneath. She batted his hand away. 

“I’m fine.” She said again before she lifted his shirt slightly to examine his abdomen where she had cut out the piece of wood. “It’s healing nicely, but I think it will leave a scar.” One look at Jonathan told her that he didn’t care if there was a scar. 

“Thank you.” He said, kissing her briefly. She just smiled in response before getting off of him and striding over to the screen to get ready for the day. He decided to go get their breakfast himself while Anne dressed, needing to have a few peaceful moments to himself to cool his temper. He hastily dressed and tied Anne’s corset before he walked out the door and over to the kitchens. 

He was only gone long enough for Anne to dress and start working on her hair. She brushed out her dark locks and fought furiously with some spots. Not having a hot bath every day had made her hair slightly more irritating to deal with, but she managed. As her hair started to give way to the brush, she noticed that the room was still silent. She turned around, figuring that Jonathan had been gone long enough to grab them breakfast, when she saw him. He was leaning against the doorframe, and had apparently put the tray for them on the table silently, and now was watching her. 

“How long have you been standing there?”

“Long enough.” He replied with a small smile before walking over to where she sat. “May I?” He gestured to the brush, which she handed to him before turning back around. He carefully maneuvered the brush through her dark curls, untangling and smoothing out the knots. When he was finished, he moved her hair to one side and kissed her neck. 

“Thank you.” Anne murmured. 

=== 

That afternoon, the portion of the garrison that was off-duty rode out to the cliffs where they had found Anne. She was asked at least once a day if she could teach the men how to scale the cliffs as she had, but her daily chores had not allotted her much free time. Today, however, she’d planned the previous week with Jonathan so that many of the men could come while still leaving Fort William adequately protected. They rode out and went down the slight slope by the northern wall to the beach’s entrance, only stopping when Anne recognized the part of the cliffs that she climbed to escape the Scotsmen so many weeks before. 

Anne wore her riding attire to make it easier for her to climb, while the men still wore their uniforms. She and Jonathan rode in the front of the group, earning still surprised looks from the men, who still didn’t know or understand the nature of their relationship. She’d heard the men talk over dinner, speculating the situation of their shared quarters. Many figured that they were courting and in love, but there was the small but loud group that claimed she was his whore. She still hadn’t told Jonathan about those men, worried that he might kill them in anger, so she let them talk and didn’t say a word about their relationship to anyone. 

Once they’d stopped and had some of the men hold the reins of the horses, she set about teaching the garrison about balance, how to tell if a rock would bear one’s weight, and how to find the easiest spot to climb. Anne thought to bring flour so that as she climbed, she could mark what rocks the soldiers could climb on after her. They practiced at that cliff face first before moving down to more difficult ones, where Anne inspected each soldier as they climbed the first cliff to see which ones could move on to the more difficult ones and not get injured. 

Afterwards, the packed lunch in their saddlebags was taken out and eaten while some of the garrison played on the beach. Some were even brave enough to dip their feet in the frozen water before yelping and running back to the slightly warmer sand. Anne and Jonathan sat at the base of the cliffs, enjoying their shared lunch and exchanging plenty of kisses throughout the meal, clearly stating that Anne was taken.


End file.
